


Time To Be In Love With Me

by karcathy



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character, kurapika is of course trans because what else, very very slow, when i get around to updating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-07-14 10:57:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7168271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karcathy/pseuds/karcathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurapika hasn't exactly been avoiding Leorio, but he's been ignoring his calls for far too long, and even to himself, his excuses are starting to sound pretty thin. When Leorio calls again, his first instinct is to push him away, but he ends up agreeing to be his pretend date for a family wedding. It's just for one weekend, but being this close to Leorio has Kurapika revisiting feelings he thought he'd quashed. Keeping them a secret now is going to be difficult to say the least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. La Cucaracha

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I started this a while ago (I have about... 30k drafted so far) and coming back to it, it was difficult to just straight-up continue, so I decided to start editing and posting. I had wanted to complete it before that, but, well, here we are. The title is actually a line from... somewhere in the second chapter? I haven't really done chapter divisions for the rest yet. That'll come. Editing this is going to be a slow process because I want it to be good and I've just finished exams and stuff and I'm still kind of in a bad mental health place, but I want to get this done. Finishing it is going to be even slower, especially since I've kind of lost the thread a bit. So bear with me. Anyway, chapter 2 shouldn't be too long, maybe in the next week? The rating is definitely going to change later, I'll probably add more tags, too. Sorry the chapter title is so silly. Uh. Enjoy?

_La Cucaracha_ at full volume 5 inches from his ear definitely wasn't the worst thing to ever wake Kurapika up, but it was probably in the top ten. Groaning, he groped for his phone and flipped it open, cursing softly when he saw it was quarter to three in the morning. Leorio was definitely his least favourite person right now – although it _was_ partially his own fault, since he hadn't bothered to change Leorio's ringtone from the stupid one he'd set it to in a vain attempt to get Kurapika to actually answer his phone for once.

“Do you know what time it is?” he growled, sitting up.

“Unfortunately, yes,” said Leorio. Kurapika could hear music playing faintly in the background, adding to his growing resentment. “I assumed you'd be awake. I did _try_ to call you earlier.”

“Well, I wasn't,” said Kurapika, deciding to ignore the second statement. The annoying ringtone only worked in the middle of the night, apparently. The rest of the time, Kurapika was more than happy to ignore his phone.

“Sorry,” he said, not sounding particularly apologetic, “Listen, hey, I need a favour.”

“No.”

“Hey! Don't you dare hang up!”

Kurapika paused, already lowering his phone, then sighed and returned it to his ear.

“You owe me one!” Leorio was saying, “I still haven't gotten the blood out of my carpet.”

“I did tell you to put down some sheets.”

“I didn't think you were serious!” protested Leorio. He took a deep breath before continuing. “Anyway, that's not the point. Are you busy this weekend?”

“As in the day after tomorrow?”

“Well, technically tomorrow. Or, I mean, today? Friday. But I promise it isn't dangerous. And there's free food.”

“What is it?” Kurapika asked suspiciously. He couldn't think of any non-dangerous favours off the top of his head.

“It's my cousin's wedding. I RSVP'd six months ago, and, well, I said I'd have a date, and I am going to get _so much shit_ if I turn up alone now.”

“Couldn't you have just picked up some girl?” Kurapika asked, trying to ignore his heart, which was suddenly racing, “What does this have to do with me?”

“What do you think I've been trying to do?”

“Oh, so I'm a last resort? That's charming.”

“Look, don't be like that. We're friends, aren't we?”

“Hmm.”

“ _Please_.”

Kurapika sighed, pretending to think about it, but he'd already made up his mind from the moment Leorio said the word _date_.

“Fine,” he said, “But this covers all the favours I owe you.”

“Yes! Thank you! I'll pick you up in the morning!”

Kurapika snapped his phone shut without saying goodbye, but he was smiling to himself. This could only be a bad idea, but pretending to be Leorio's date for just one weekend wouldn't hurt. Probably.

*~*

It took almost an hour for him to fall asleep again. As much as he'd been trying to suppress his feelings – since Leorio clearly didn't return them – the idea of even pretending to be dating him set his heart racing and his stomach churning. He felt giddy, fully aware that he was acting like a lovestruck teenager but unable to stop himself from imagining what it would be like to be Leorio's boyfriend, the scenarios getting increasingly more far-fetched as he drifted off to sleep.

He was in the middle of a dream (Leorio had been cooking him breakfast, and then he turned into a centaur and chased him out of the house; the latter seemed more believable, somehow) when the doorbell rang, loud enough to wake him up. Groaning, he checked his phone, and swore when he saw it was just past eight. He rolled over, then swore again when the doorbell rang three times in quick succession. Tugging on a sweatshirt, he stumbled downstairs and pulled open the door, self-consciously crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why are you here so early?” He squinted up at Leorio, who was looking obnoxiously chipper.

“The drive takes four hours, and we've got to get there for lunch,” said Leorio, pushing past him, “Didn't I say?”

“No,” said Kurapika, slamming the door shut, “You just woke me up.”

“Oh, sorry,” he said, turning back to face him, “How quickly can you get ready?”

Kurapika just frowned at him, his arms still crossed. He may have been acting like a petulant child, but he felt he was entitled to since Leorio was the reason he hadn't slept.

“I'll make you coffee,” said Leorio, turning and heading into the kitchen, “Go and get dressed, and don't forget to pack a suit.”

Kurapika stood in the hallway for a moment, gently massaging his temples, before starting up the stairs. By the time he was showered and dressed, and had shoved some clothes – including his only clean suit – into a bag, the bitter smell of coffee was wafting through the house and he was feeling slightly more awake.

“Do you have a Thermos?” Leorio shouted, as Kurapika started to descend the stairs.

“Under the sink,” he replied, at considerably lower volume, “What about breakfast?”

“I'll buy you some on the road,” promised Leorio, emerging from the kitchen, flask in hand, “We've got to go. You can drink this in the car.”

Kurapika exchanged his bag for the coffee, immediately unscrewing the lid and taking a sip that burnt his tongue.

“Ahh,” he said, following Leorio out to his car, “I'm beginning to hate you a little less.”

“That's good,” said Leorio, pulling his door open and sliding into his seat, “I don't want my family to think I'm some kind of masochist.”

Kurapika snorted, coffee going up his nose. He could feel his face burning bright red. Leorio glanced over at him and burst out laughing.

“I changed my mind,” said Kurapika, taking a careful sip of coffee, “I _do_ hate you. I regret agreeing to this already.”

“I'll try to make it worth your while,” Leorio said, winking at him.

Kurapika pretended to ignore him, but he could feel his blush intensifying. This was going to be a long weekend.

*~*

They arrived at the hotel with just enough time to check in before lunch, which was, fortunately, a late one.

“So, you're in the wedding party, then?” asked Kurapika as he followed Leorio into the lobby.

“What? Oh, yeah. I'm one of the, uh, groomsmen? I guess. We used to be pretty close, but I haven't seen any of my family in a while. Med school is pretty hectic, I guess.”

Kurapika nodded thoughtfully. He didn't exactly have the same problem; right now, Leorio was probably the closest thing he had to family, and they barely spoke any more. He had his own reasons for that, but if he was honest, they were fairly poor excuses to avoid him.

He hung back as Leorio went up to the front desk, staring at the wall without really seeing it. His attention quickly snapped back to Leorio as he heard the words _double room_. He felt his cheeks burning red and his stomach doing backflips as he glared at the man walking casually back over to where he was standing.

“Are we sharing a _bed_?” he hissed, trying to inject more anger than he really felt into the words.

“Ah, yeah, about that,” Leorio said, rubbing the back of his head with one hand, “Uh, my family kind of think I've been dating someone for, well, a while. Um. I've been trying to be as vague about it, but, well, they just kind of assumed, and I kind of let them, so...”

“So I'm not just your weekend date now? I have to pretend to be your long-term boyfriend?” Kurapika spluttered, his face getting even redder as he struggled to keep his voice down.

“Look, it's just for the weekend! You never have to see them again after this, I promise,” said Leorio, trying to usher him towards the lift, “Look, can we discuss this upstairs? People are starting to arrive.”

“Oh, we are _definitely_ going to discuss this,” muttered Kurapika.

He started to walk towards the lift, but stopped as a tall, dark-haired woman tackled Leorio, capturing him in the most intense bear hug Kurapika had ever witnessed. He quickly realised this could only be Leorio's mother; she was at least six foot tall and incredibly energetic for her age. Leorio mouthed _play nice_ at him over her shoulder, and Kurapika rolled his eyes, as if to say _of course_.

“Leorio! You made it!” she said, pulling back to look at his face, “So, where's this girlfriend of yours? We're all dying to meet her.”

“Boyfriend, actually,” said Kurapika, offering her his hand and smiling warmly, “Pleased to meet you. I'm Kurapika.”

“Oh, it's so good to finally meet you,” she said, ignoring his hand and pulling him into a suffocating hug, “I'd say we've heard so much about you, but Leorio's told us almost nothing!”

“Ah, I'm sorry about that,” said Kurapika, his voice muffled. He carefully extracted himself from her clutches and took a few steps back, far enough to actually see her face.

“Pika's a very private person,” said Leorio, playfully ruffling his hair.

Kurapika smiled through gritted teeth. He realised Leorio was just trying to get a rise out of him, but nevertheless, he was extremely tempted to punch him in the face.

“And here I thought you just wanted to keep me all to yourself,” he said, with an expression of mock surprise, “He's very jealous, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” said his mother, smiling fondly, “Well, I'll see you two at lunch.”

Kurapika smiled warmly, waving at her as she walked off, then promptly grabbed Leorio's arm and dragged him into the nearest lift.

“Ow! Hey, that hurts!” protested Leorio, tugging his arm free and rubbing it with his free hand, “I bet it's bruised.”

“Don't be such an arse,” said Kurapika, pressing the button for their floor, “I'm doing you a favour here, the _least_ you could do is not spend the whole weekend trying to embarrass me.”

“Embarrass you?” said Leorio, his eyes wide and innocent.

“ _Pika_ ,” said Kurapika, through clenched teeth.

“We're meant to be lovers. Shouldn't we have affectionate nicknames?”

“If you ever call me _Pika_ again, I'll make sure you can't walk straight for a week.” Kurapika hesitated, his ears burning. A dirty grin spread across Leorio's face. “Not like that,” he added hurriedly, “You know what I meant. I am going to _kill_ you.”

“Sure, honey,” said Leorio, smirking as he stepped out of the lift and led the way down the corridor, “Try not to get any blood on the carpet.”

“That was _one time_!” protested Kurapika, hurrying after him, “And I did apologise.”

“Please, you were far too unconscious to apologise,” he said, unlocking the door.

“I'm sure I apologised later,” said Kurapika, following him inside and dumping his bag on the bed, “Anyway. I can't _believe_ you're making me share a bed with you.”

“Well, uh,” said Leorio, looking around the cramped room, “I could sleep on the floor, I guess.”

“There's hardly enough space for you in the bed,” Kurapika pointed out, shaking his head, “You could have at least warned me, you know.”

“I'm sorry,” he said, looking at least somewhat sincere, “I guess I was just assuming everything would work out on its own.” He sighed, sitting down on the bed. “I'm an idiot.”

“Yes, you are,” said Kurapika, sitting next to him, “Look, I'm still here to help you, but you seriously owe me one. Or several.”

“Really? After everything I've done for you?”

Kurapika fixed him with a hard stare, and he sighed.

“Okay, I owe you one,” he said, rolling his eyes, “You drive a hard bargain. Nothing illegal, though.”

“Would I ever?” Kurapika asked, eyes widening, although he couldn't truthfully deny that the only favours he could think of were ever so slightly on the wrong side of the law.

“I can't think of anything legal you want, that's for sure,” said Leorio, frowning, “Speaking of which, how's your vendetta thing going?”

“You mean hunting down the bastards that murdered my entire family?” asked Kurapika, his voice full of bitter sarcasm.

“Yeah, that,” said Leorio, his hand hovering awkwardly between them for a moment before coming down to rest on the bed, “I'm worried about you.”

“I can't think why,” he said, staring intently at his hands. He sighed softly, then looked up at Leorio. “It's not going well,” he continued, frowning, “I've been working on it for so long, but I'm not getting anywhere. Every new lead is just another dead end.”

“Maybe... I mean, maybe you should just... give up,” said Leorio, holding up one hand when Kurapika tried to talk over him, “Not like that. I just mean, is this really what they'd want? Wouldn't they rather you were happy? This... Revenge won't change anything. It can't bring them back.”

Kurapika buried his face in his hands, elbows resting on his knees, unable to formulate a reply when, deep down, he knew Leorio had a point.

“I know, okay?” he said, finally, “I know, I just- Let's not talk about this, okay?”

“Okay,” said Leorio, resting one hand tentatively on his back, “It's okay. You know I'm here if you need to talk, though, right? Whenever you're ready.”

“I know,” he said, straightening up and smiling weakly up at him, “Thank you. Anyway, what do I need to know to survive this?”

*~*

Leorio's pep talk ended up making them late for lunch. The others had already started eating, although a few people were loitering near the buffet table. Kurapika was almost certain that Leorio's mother _winked_ at him as he walked across the room.

“Leorio,” he hissed, as the taller man joined him at the buffet table, “I think your mum thinks we were having _sex_.”

“Oh, probably,” said Leorio casually, not bothering to lower his voice, “I texted her saying we were running late. I did use a winky face, so she must have assu- ow!”

He broke off as Kurapika stood on his foot, _hard_.

“Well, that was uncalled for,” he huffed, “Can't you be a little more sweet and loving?”

“I'll show you how sweet and loving my _foot_ in your _arse_ can be,” Kurapika muttered, piling salad onto his plate and storming off.

“Sweetie, don't be like that!” Leorio called, jogging after him, “I'll be more gentle next time!”

Kurapika could feel himself turning bright red as he slammed his plate down on the table and threw himself violently into a chair.

“Please stop doing that,” he hissed as Leorio sat next to him, “I'm trying _really_ hard not to fucking _murder_ you right now.”

“I'm just teasing you, honey.”

Kurapika shot him a look that could melt steel.

“Look,” said Leorio, leaning in and lowering his voice, “Lovers' spats are fine, but could you at least _pretend_ not to hate my guts for _some_ of the weekend? Please try to act a _little_ like you're in love with me.”

Kurapika froze, the thought _Well, I_ am _in love with you_ racing through his mind but, as ever, unspoken. He hesitated, then leant in closer, a wicked smile on his face. He just had time to notice Leorio's eyes widen in shock before their lips were pressed awkwardly together, and it was Leorio's turn to freeze. Kurapika pushed one hand into his hair and deepened the kiss, trying to memorise every detail. He'd been dreaming of this for far too long, and now it was actually happening. He wished he could freeze this moment for eternity.

He broke off with a soft sigh, keeping his eyes closed for a moment before looking up at Leorio and smirking.

“What was that?” Leorio said, after a moment of frozen silence.

“What?” asked Kurapika, wide-eyed and innocent, “Wasn't I supposed to be in love with you? Isn't that the sort of thing we're supposed to be doing?”

Their faces were still far, far too close together; he could feel Leorio's breath against his lips; he could feel something deep inside him desperately yelling for him to kiss him again – something he'd managed to ignore so well, up until now. Somewhere behind him, someone was yelling _Get a room_. Instead, feigning nonchalance, he pulled away and started eating his mountain of salad.

“I don't get you,” said Leorio, shaking his head, “One minute you're biting my ear off and the next, it's my tongue.”

“I wouldn't be _biting your ear off_ if you weren't winding me up so much, you know,” he said, his cheeks reddening again, “Anyway, apart from that, you're right. No matter how much you try to obstruct me, I'm still here to help you. _I'm_ trying to make this convincing, whatever you do.” All whilst trying not to make it too obvious he was also really in love with this idiot, even though he took every opportunity to drive him up the fucking wall.

“Well, look at you lovebirds!” said another tall and beautiful dark-haired woman (Kurapika would have to start making a list soon; obviously, he would be spending the whole weekend surrounded by unnecessarily tall women), sitting down on the other side of Leorio and holding her hand out across him for Kurapika to shake, “Hi, I'm Gloria. Leorio's cousin.”

“Kurapika can't keep his hands off me,” said Leorio, smirking as Kurapika shook her hand and rolled his eyes. He decided to let that comment slide, but he still resented Leorio for making this harder than necessary.

“It's lovely to meet you,” he said, smiling warmly.

“Don't go stealing my spotlight,” she said, shoving Leorio playfully, “This is my wedding, you know.”

“Well, I'll catch up with you later,” she said, checking her phone and standing up, “Duty calls. Who knew getting married was so stressful?”

She laughed, almost managing to sound relaxed, and walked across the room, grabbing another tall woman and dragging her outside.

“I thought you said you were a groomsman?” Kurapika said, staring idly after her.

“Hmm? Oh, well,” said Leorio, one hand resting against his mouth, “I wasn't sure what to call it when there's two brides. Bridesman? That sounds ridiculous. Anyway, she's wearing a suit and standing next to the altar, so close enough, I guess.”

Kurapika laughed softly, turning back to his salad.

“Well, when we get married, I'm going to be the one wearing the suit,” he said, still smiling.

“I'd totally rock the dress and you know it.”

Kurapika snorted, choking on a mouthful of salad, the image of Leorio in a wedding dress filling his mind. He didn't actually think it would look too bad, but he knew he was biased; he found it hard to imagine Leorio looking bad in anything.

It was already starting to look like a long weekend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!! Also, I'd be grateful if you pointed out any mistakes, I tend to write quite late at night and typos do slip through. Thanks for reading. God, I hope someone likes this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [crawls out of the garbage after nearly a year] okay i'm sorry... i abandoned this but i'll at least post what i have written although i can't promise to ever complete it... i'm very sorry -.-

They managed to finish eating and escape to their room without further incident. Kurapika immediately collapsed on the bed, kicking off his shoes and throwing his arms over his face.

“So, what's our schedule for the weekend?” he asked, his voice slightly muffled.

“Well, there's a family dinner tonight,” said Leorio, sitting on the edge of the bed, “Just in case lunch wasn't enough for you. Uh, tomorrow I think there's just the rehearsal. So I guess you can come to the rehearsal dinner, if you want to. The wedding is Sunday morning. The reception is in the evening, obviously, and then I guess we're leaving on Monday morning.”

“Ugh, that's so many things,” said Kurapika, rolling onto his side and looking over at Leorio, “We're not going to have a fancy wedding, right? Let's just elope.”

“What about my dress?” said Leorio, smiling, “I'd feel stupid wearing that in the registry office.”

“I thought you said you'd rock it no matter what,” said Kurapika, running a hand through his hair.

“I'll have to go for a more casual one,” he said, stroking his chin in a mock-thoughtful way, “Maybe a mini dress?”

“Oh, god,” said Kurapika, covering his eyes, “That's a mental image I _didn't_ need.”

“Wait until you hear what I'm wearing _under_ the dress.”

“Oh, god, stop! Stop it!” yelled Kurapika, grabbing the nearest pillow and hurling it at Leorio's back, “You monster!”

Leorio threw the pillow back at him, but he was laughing so hard he managed to miss by several feet.

“How did you miss so badly?” Kurapika asked, starting to laugh as well, “I'm hardly four feet away from you!”

“Shut up,” said Leorio, leaning over to poke him in the side.

“Ah! Don't!” protested Kurapika, flinching away from Leorio's finger even as he started to laugh harder.

“Are you... ticklish?” asked Leorio, a truly terrifying grin coming onto his face.

“Don't you dare,” said Kurapika, pushing himself up into a sitting position and pointing threateningly at Leorio, “I'll kill you, I swear to- No! Stop! Monster!”

He devolved into wordless squeals as Leorio mercilessly tickled his sides.

“Stop! Stop it! Stop!” he finally managed to gasp, kicking Leorio in the stomach and cracking his own head against the headboard, “You monster.”

“Ow!” said Leorio, “God, you're a vicious little thing, aren't you?”

“You were killing me!” panted Kurapika, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, “That's completely unfair.”

He rubbed the back of his head, pouting.

“Look what you've done,” he said, tilting his head forwards so Leorio could see the back, “I bet there's a lump.”

“There's no lump,” said Leorio, barely bothering to look, “I think you burst my spleen. That kick was _hard_.”

“I have no sympathy,” said Kurapika flatly.

“Still, though,” said Leorio, grinning, “It was worth it. Now I know your weakness.”

“Monster,” Kurapika said, throwing the other pillow at him.

Leorio caught the pillow, smirking.

“I hate you,” said Kurapika, folding his arms on top of his knees and resting his head against them, “You are literally the worst.”

“Thank you,” said Leorio, making a mock bow, “I try.”

Kurapika buried his face in his arms. His heart was still racing, and only partially because he was still catching his breath. Leorio touching him like that had made him equal parts excited and anxious. God, he was a mess.

“How long is it until dinner?” he asked, not looking up.

“Hmm? Oh, about four hours. I think it's at seven.”

“Okay. I'm going outside, then,” he said, standing up and pulling on his shoes, then rummaging through his bag for a sweatshirt, “I can't stay in this room with you for four hours, I'll explode.

“Oh, see you later, then.”

Kurapika stepped outside, shoving a key card into his pocket. Leaning against the wall, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. This was all so much. He didn't know how he was going to survive the whole weekend like this. He stood there until his heartbeat had settled somewhat, then sighed and pushed away. Deciding to forgo the lifts, he headed for the stairs and trudged down to the ground floor. Hoping he didn't run into any of Leorio's family, he made his way out into the garden, and walked over to the one of the picnic tables scattered across the lawn. Climbing onto the bench, he folded his arms on the table and rested his head against them. It was barely three, but he already felt exhausted – perhaps because Leorio had woken him up at three and then eight in the morning, or perhaps because pretending to not be in love with him in order to pretend to be in love with him was confusing and emotionally exhausting. Sighing, he buried his face in one elbow, contemplating just sleeping out here for the rest of the weekend.

“Rough day, huh?” said a soft voice, and he felt someone sitting down next to him.

“No. Yes. I guess,” he said, tilting his head to look sideways at the diminutive woman sitting next to him, “I don't know. Are you here for the wedding?”

“No, I'm just passing through,” she said, her voice oddly melodious, “You are, though, aren't you?”

“Yes. As a favour for a friend. I'm pretending to be his date.”

“Ah. And you'd rather be his real date?”

“No. Well, maybe,” he admitted, “I don't know. It's too complicated.”

“You should probably tell him how you feel,” she said, standing up, “It's not good to let these things fester.”

Kurapika made a quiet sound of acknowledgement, burying his face in his arms again. He knew he should probably tell Leorio, but thinking that and actually doing it were two very different things. As it stood, he'd rather get this weekend over with and never think about it again. After this, he could just avoid Leorio until he was over this silly crush. How hard could that be?

He ended up falling asleep at the picnic table, and woke up at around six, dazed and confused. Checking the time on his phone, he sighed and quickly sent Leorio a text that read _Where are you?_ He barely had time to put down the phone before he got a reply: _still in our room, u okay?_ Flipping his phone shut without answering, he stood up and made his way back inside.

“You feeling better?” Leorio asked, as Kurapika let the door swing shut behind him.

“Mm. Yeah,” he said, sitting down on the floor with his back against the door and his legs folded in front of him, “Just a bit tired. Is there a dress code for dinner?”

“Lose the sweatshirt and what you're wearing is fine,” said Leorio, glancing over at him before returning his gaze to the textbook in front of him.

Kurapika glanced down at his outfit – a plain light blue shirt and black trousers – and nodded, fiddling absent-mindedly with his top button. It was similar to the sort of thing Leorio wore most days to clinical school. Sighing, he tugged off the sweatshirt and threw it on the bed. They sat in comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts, until Leorio glanced at his watch – which he kept habitually attached to a belt loop even when he didn't need to – and stood up.

“Time for dinner,” he said, closing the textbook and dropping it on the bed, “Try to be nice to me, hey?”

“No promises,” said Kurapika with a smile, accepting the hand Leorio offered him and standing up.

“I'm serious,” he said, pulling open the door and leading the way down the corridor, “Just... act like you're in love with me, okay?”

Kurapika resisted the urge to laugh. He _was_ acting like he was in love with him, after all, but apparently that wasn't obvious enough.

“So, more dreamy staring, fewer sarcastic comments, then?” he said, as they stepped into the lift, “I'll see what I can do.”

“Don't overdo it,” warned Leorio, “I know your weakness now, remember?”

“You monster,” said Kurapika, wrapping his arms protectively around himself.

“You love me really,” he said, as the doors opened.

“I can't think why,” said Kurapika, more to himself than to Leorio, as he sighed and followed him to the dining room.

“Okay, time to be in love with me!” said Leorio, obnoxiously cheerfully, as he led the way over to a table Kurapika thought was entirely too close to the middle of the room. Then again, he'd rather be sitting at a table outside, if at all possible.

“Wait a moment,” he said, “I just need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.”

“Okay, love,” said Leorio, still walking towards the table he had his sights fixed up, “I'll save you a seat.”

Kurapika made his way out to the bathroom he'd noticed earlier in the foyer, which was just a single unisex stall. Locking the door, he sat down cautiously on the toilet seat, and buried his face in his hands. He took several deep breaths before sitting up, then splashed some water on his face before heading back to the dining room. It took a moment for him to spot Leorio, who was no longer the tallest person in the room, but as soon as he did he made his way over to him, gracefully weaving his way between the tables.

“Sorry about that,” he said, leaning in to press a kiss to Leorio's cheek as he sat down. He flicked his eyes sideways and was pleased to notice his ears reddening slightly. Leorio wasn't the only one who could be embarrassing.

“No problem,” said Leorio smoothly, “We were just talking about you.”

“Nothing bad, I hope.”

“What else is there to say?” Leorio teased, and Kurapika playfully swatted his shoulder.

“Be nice, Leorio,” he said, smiling, “I want to make a good impression on your family.”

“Oh, you have, don't worry,” said Leorio's mother, who was sitting on the other side of her son to Kurapika.

“I'm glad,” he said, smiling warmly, and then turning to his left and saying “I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced. I'm Kurapika.”

“Leorio's...?” the old woman let the end of her sentence dangle, as if she wasn't quite sure what noun belonged there.

“Boyfriend, yes,” said Kurapika, trying not to let it get to him, “And you are...?”

“Grandmother. Gosh, this family does seem to have more than our fair share of-”

“Grandma, please,” interrupted Leorio, his voice going cold, “Not at the wedding.”

“Well, I was just saying-”

“So, what are you thinking of having?” Leorio said loudly, turning to his mother and slipping his hand onto Kurapika's knee, squeezing it gently.

Kurapika appreciated the gesture, even though Leorio didn't know the half of it. Sure, the casual homophobia always hurt, and even though he'd never told him, he was pretty sure Leorio knew he was actually gay – even though he was, apparently, completely oblivious to the fact he was in love with him. But the sharp, sickening feeling of someone mistaking him for female hurt far worse and never seemed to fade, no matter how much he objectively knew it didn't matter. Taking a breath that only shook slightly, he opened the menu and began looking through it. As he did, he decided he might as well get his own back on the old lady, however petty that might be.

“Oh, look, honey,” he said, interrupting whatever Leorio was saying, “This one's for two people to share. Should we get that?”

“Oh, yes,” Leorio said, and Kurapika could tell from his smile he'd already caught onto his line of thought, “That's perfect.”

He returned to his conversation with his parents, holding his hand out to Kurapika, who entwined their fingers together and then rested their joined hands on the table before returning to reading the menu. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Leorio's grandmother turning away from them, muttering something to the person next to her. _It's a shame Leorio is actually straight_ , he thought – not that he'd wish he were gay just to spite his grandmother. That would just be a nice perk. He kept staring blankly, focusing more on the feeling of his hand linked with Leorio's, until the waiter gently removed the menu from his hand and he realised Leorio must have ordered for him.

“You look far away,” Leorio observed, raising their clasped hands and pressing his lips gently to Kurapika's knuckles, “Something wrong?”

“No, just thinking,” he said, smiling then leaning in to kiss Leorio on the cheek, like it was the most natural thing in the world. He could feel himself getting far, far too comfortable with this.

“You're always thinking. You think too much.”

“You don't think enough. Or at all, actually.”

Kurapika had all but forgotten they weren't alone. Their faces were still far too close together and their voices were low and intimate. He leaned in closer, letting his eyes drift half-closed, desperate for another kiss, another moment where he could pretend his world was nothing but Leorio.

“That was rude,” Leorio said, laughing and breaking the moment, “Besides, you should try relaxing once in a while. I hear it's good for you.”

“Yeah,” said Kurapika, leaning back in his chair, “I'll relax when I'm dead.”

“Sometimes I'm worried you really mean that,” Leorio said, giving him a concerned look.

“You worry too much,” he said, smiling bitterly.

“Someone has to.”

Kurapika just made a non-committal noise, and Leorio squeezed his hand before turning back to his parents. Kurapika half-listened to their conversation, staring at their joined hands and wondering what it'd be like to have this all the time. There was something magical about a relationship like this – one put on entirely for show, that could only last for this one weekend – that made it feel like a fairytale. Almost better than the real thing.

He had to release Leorio's hand when their food arrived, and he briefly resented the interruption before realising what this meant. Here was their chance to, in disgustingly romantic fashion, feed each other food and generally act like a couple on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, this was _Leorio_ , so it didn't exactly go like he'd hoped. They ended up getting more food on each other's faces than in them, and it quickly devolved into a competition to see who could throw something into the other's mouth from a greater distance. Kurapika was sure any normal family would have been slightly scandalised, but Leorio's just cheered them on.

“This is ridiculous,” he said, combing crumbs out of his hair.

“True, but you look happier,” said Leorio, smiling.

Kurapika felt himself blushing.

“Shut up,” he said, hiding his smile behind one hand.

“Never,” Leorio replied, grinning, “Do you want some dessert?”

“No, I want to go to bed.”

“Kink-ouch!” said Leorio, stopping when Kurapika elbowed him in the side, “I was joking!”

“I'm going to shower,” said Kurapika, standing up, “Have dessert if you want to, I'll see you later.”

Kurapika grabbed his bag from the bedroom, then locked himself in their tiny bathroom. Now he just had to focus on his next problem: how the hell was he going to share a bed with Leorio? Sighing, he unbuttoned his shirt then slipped it off and dropped it on his bag. He stared at himself in the mirror for a long moment before tugging off his binder and dropping it on top of his shirt. He turned on the shower and stripped quickly, not looking back at the mirror. Eyes closed, he massaged complimentary shampoo through his hair, then rinsed it out and focused on carefully soaping his whole body before using the conditioner. Feeling cleaner but not exactly better, he stood under the water, his head turned slightly up so it covered his face at just the right angle that he could still breathe. He didn't know how long he stood there, his mind completely blank, but he turned the water off when he heard Leorio banging on the door and yelling at him to hurry up. He ignored Leorio's yelling, drying himself off with one of the hotel's too-small towels, and stared at his clothes as he absent-mindedly dried his hair. Sighing, he tugged on his pyjama trousers and a loose t-shirt, then stared at his sweatshirt for a long moment before pulling it on too. That should probably do, unless Leorio started tickling him again, but what else could he do? He might be irresponsible and reckless sometimes, but he wasn't stupid enough to sleep in his binder.

He barely had time to open the door before Leorio barrelled past him and herded him out, muttering angrily the whole time. Smiling to himself, he pulled out a book and climbed into the bed, curling his legs up underneath him and twisting himself into as comfortable a position as he could manage without an extra pillow to prop him up. He'd just gotten immersed in the book when Leorio emerged from the bathroom, tugging off his shirt. His cheeks turning pink, Kurapika pointedly focused on his book, resisting the urge to stare.

“You can't be comfortable like that,” said Leorio, pulling on a t-shirt.

Kurapika ignored him, trying to read even though none of the words seemed to be making any sense.

“You're like a cat,” he continued, pulling down his trousers, “You sit in odd positions and don't listen to anything I say.”

Kurapika closed his eyes, forcing himself to breathe calmly.

“Look at you. It's like I'm not even here,” he said, sliding under the covers and poking Kurapika's shoulder, “Hey. Anyone home?”

“You know, you're really interfering with my ability to pretend you don't exist,” said Kurapika, opening his eyes and brushing away Leorio's hand, “You'd better be wearing trousers.”

“I'm wearing pants,” said Leorio defensively, “ _And_ a t-shirt.”

Kurapika just rolled his eyes, returning his attention to his book.

“So,” said Leorio, leaning his head against Kurapika's shoulder, “What're you reading?”

“Book.”

“What about?”

“People.”

“What do they do?”

“Things.”

“Oh, come on,” whined Leorio, “Don't be so boring.”

“Go away, I'm trying to read,” said Kurapika, shuffling so Leorio's head fell off his shoulder.

“You're mean,” said Leorio, sitting up and returning to his side of the bed.

Kurapika ignored him. Leorio sighed.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Kurapika said, after a few minutes of silence, “Please stop. Don't you have something better to do?”

“I forgot to bring a book,” he said, leaning over towards Kurapika again.

“You can't have mine.”

Leorio sighed, leaning his head against Kurapika's arm.

“Stop that.”

Leorio sighed again, sliding his head down to rest in Kurapika's lap.

“Stop it,” said Kurapika, shoving him away, “Go to sleep.”

“Only if you turn out the light.”

“ _Fine_ ,” said Kurapika, slamming his book shut and flicking off the light, “Now fuck off.”

Leorio gasped dramatically, but moved back to his side of the bed. Kurapika curled up facing away from Leorio, as close to the edge of the bed as he could get without sliding off. He lay there in silence, listening to Leorio's quiet breathing, until he fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurapika's first impression on waking up was of heat. He regretted sleeping in the sweatshirt, then realised he could also feel some kind of great weight pressing down on his back, trapping him and heating him up to unbearable temperatures.

“ _Leorio_ ,” he groaned, arching his back in an attempt to dislodge him, “Get the fuck off of me.”

Leorio moaned sleepily and shifted slightly, but remained firmly on top of Kurapika.

“All right,” he muttered, collapsing.

Steeling himself, he twisted himself over and, in the same movement, swung his fist up to connect with Leorio's jaw.

“Ow! Fuck! What was that?” yelled Leorio, rolling away and clutching his jaw.

Kurapika just made an annoyed noise and flounced out of bed, grabbing his stuff and heading into the bathroom.

“Did you seriously just punch me?” asked Leorio as Kurapika locked the door, “What the fuck, man?”

Kurapika pulled out his phone and checked the time – a little past seven. Once again, Leorio was responsible for waking him up stupidly early. Rubbing his eyes, he decided it was too late to bother trying to go back to sleep, and instead pulled out a hairband and tied back his hair. He might as well at least wash the sweat off of his body. The sound of Leorio quietly cursing him was almost soothing as he quickly washed and then dried himself. He thought he could hear Leorio start to snore as he tugged his binder on, and despite his annoyance, he smiled fondly. It was a pity Leorio was so heavy, he reflected, or he might have enjoyed waking up like that.

Now fully dressed, Kurapika quietly emerged from the bathroom and slipped out of the room, deciding he might as well have breakfast since he was up. As it turned out, breakfast didn't start until half past, so he sat in the foyer playing snake on his outdated flip phone until he was allowed to go into the dining room. He almost managed to beat his high score, but half his mind was on Leorio the whole time – wondering whether he was still asleep, what he was dreaming about, and other ridiculously sappy things. The breakfast was served buffet-style, and Kurapika walked straight past the food to the coffee machine. He contemplated just taking the jug, but settled for pouring himself two mugs of black coffee and carrying them, one in each hand, over to a table next to the window. He set them out to make it look like he was waiting for someone, then sipped slowly at his, staring blankly at the view. The hotel was set on a slight hill, and it looked out over rolling grassy fields dotted with the odd tree and intersected by narrow roads bordered by hedges. He could see some sheep grazing. It was peaceful, if boring and rural. He briefly let himself wonder what it would be like to live somewhere like this; to let himself let go. These dreams were never something he seriously considered, but it was nice to imagine what it could be like if things were different.

He'd moved onto the second cup of coffee, still staring at the view, by the time Leorio came down.

“Morning,” he said, sitting in the chair opposite Kurapika with a plate loaded improbably full, mostly of bacon and sausages.

Kurapika tilted his head in acknowledgement, then glanced down at Leorio's plate, and his eyes widened.

“Have you got enough food there?” he asked, raising his eyebrows, “No wonder you're so big.”

Leorio kicked him under the table, and he laughed.

“You should eat something,” Leorio said, pointing at him with his knife, “Coffee isn't breakfast.”

“Mm,” said Kurapika, pinching a rasher of bacon from Leorio's plate, “Okay.”

“Hey! I didn't say to eat my food,” he said, but he didn't make an attempt to steal it back, he just rolled his eyes as Kurapika bit into it.

Kurapika stuck his tongue out, and stole a piece of toast.

“Well, that's just cheeky,” grumbled Leorio, spearing a sausage then eating it whole.

“And this,” said Kurapika, indicating Leorio's plate, “Is just greedy.”

He smirked, then took a sausage and bit off half of it before offering it to Leorio, who waved it away.

“Well, at least you're eating,” said Leorio, trying to sound grumpy but not quite able to hide his smile.

Kurapika laughed softly, going to take a sip of his coffee then lowering his mug with a dismayed look when he saw it was empty. Leorio laughed, and he kicked him under the table. Silently, he stood up and took both of his mugs back over to the buffet and refilled them, then returned to the table.

“That... is a lot of coffee,” said Leorio.

Kurapika just looked pointedly at Leorio's plate.

“This is different,” said Leorio, and Kurapika raised one eyebrow, “Well, good luck getting me to help you when you overdose.”

“I'm sure I'll live,” he said drily, taking another sip.

Leorio just frowned, a concerned expression on his face. Kurapika sighed, then pushed one mug across to Leorio.

“Here, you have one,” he said, “Does that make you feel better?”

“Whatever it takes to keep you alive,” said Leorio, laughing.

Kurapika smiled, wrapping his hands around his mug and raising it to his lips but not drinking. He breathed in the warm scent of coffee and closed his eyes.

“This is nice, isn't it?” he said, his eyes still shut.

“Mm,” said Leorio, his voice soft, “You look happy. I hadn't... You don't usually smile this often.”

Kurapika stayed silent, taking a sip of his coffee but not lowering it yet. He didn't usually have many things to smile about. Leorio changed that; he just wished it could last a little longer.

They lingered over breakfast until it finished, at half nine, sitting there in comfortable silence long after they both finished eating.

“So,” said Leorio, as they stood up, “Got any plans for today?”

“I'm going to clean my teeth,” said Kurapika, running his tongue over them and grimacing at the stale coffee taste.

“Okay, after that,” said Leorio, laughing, “I think I'm going to be roped into doing wedding stuff all day. Do you want to come to the rehearsal dinner?”

“No, I think I'll go into the village,” he said, shaking his head, “I'll see you later.”

They parted at the lifts, Kurapika heading up to their room and Leorio wandering off to look for someone who knew what he was supposed to be doing. Kurapika almost missed the sound of his lift arriving, staring after Leorio and lost in thought. Shaking his head, he attempted to stop thinking about the other man altogether. Perhaps a day apart would help him.

Kurapika brushed his teeth quickly, then pulled open the curtains and squinted at the sky. It was a bright, sunny day with barely a cloud in sight, so he decided just to stick with the light chinos and short-sleeved button down shirt he was wearing, reasoning that a jacket would just be an extra thing to carry and he'd be hot enough with the extra layer of his binder anyway. Stuffing his phone and key card into his pocket, he left the room and returned downstairs. He searched the stand of flyers in the lobby for a map but couldn't find one. If Leorio were here he'd probably tell him this was exactly the sort of situation he should have a smartphone for. Just to spite the Leorio in his head, he decided he could find his way without a map or GPS, and set off along the gravel driveway. He found a footpath at the end which seemed to be going in roughly the same direction he thought the village should be in, so he decided he might as well head along it instead of the road. He'd never seen the point of country walks before, but the fresh air and gentle exercise seemed like just the thing to clear his head. The sun beating down on him was nicely counteracted by the cool breeze, and he felt considerably lighter than usual.

Two hours later, he realised he'd somehow managed to lose the footpath. He'd reached the edge of a field which contained a herd of golden-brown cows with the largest horns he'd ever seen, and there was no sign of where the footpath was meant to go next. He looked left and right, then decided straight across the field was his best bet to reach the village. The fence was flimsy wire that shook when he climbed it, clinging to a wooden post for support, and was topped with barbed wire that he carefully avoided as he swung his leg over. The cows were some distance away, so he figured they would just ignore him. He was right until he got about halfway across, at the point closest to the cows, when they started to look interested in him. He sped up a little, slightly nervous; cows might be herbivorous but they were big animals and they could easily trample him. He glanced backwards and saw the cows starting to shift, moving to face towards him. He sped up a little more, then glanced back again. The cows had started to move, picking up speed quickly, and he broke into a run, sprinting towards the fence as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn't dare look back, and barely slowed down to vault over the fence. His momentum carried him a few paces further before he could stop, turning around to see the cows, which had thankfully stopped before they could charge through the fence. Wiping the back of his hand across his forehead, he took a look around and realised he was thoroughly lost. He could see a road on the other side of the field he was in, and decided that was his best chance of finding his bearings.

It was another hour or so before he managed to find a village, not entirely sure it was the one he had been aiming for but relieved to be back in civilisation. He had no idea how he was going to get back to the hotel, but his growling stomach had more urgent concerns. He started walking down the main street, looking around for a café. Suddenly, he froze, searching through his pockets, then cursed as he realised he'd managed to forget his wallet. Lunch would have to wait, then, he decided, pulling out his phone and cursing again when he saw there was no service. _Lost, penniless and alone; how much worse could this day get?_ he thought, then regretted it immediately when he felt a fat drop of rain fall on his head. The blue sky had turned grey, and more quickly than he could believe, rain began pouring down thick and fast. He began sprinting, cursing under his breath, and by the time he reached the bus shelter a little way down the street he was soaked to the skin. Leaning against the plastic wall, he tried to get as far under the shelter as he could – not that it mattered by this point. Through the driving rain, he didn't notice the dark figure running towards him until they were also under the shelter.

“Leorio?” he said, slightly incredulously, “You're soaked!”

“Speak for yourself,” said Leorio, leaning against the shelter next to him, his hair dripping onto Kurapika's shoulder, “This weather is completely nuts, isn't it? It was beautiful this morning.”

“Yeah,” he said, leaning into Leorio's shoulder, “What are you doing here?”

“I had to get out of there, they were driving me nuts,” Leorio said, wrapping his arm around Kurapika's shoulder, “I drove down here to pick up some lunch.”

“Don't mention food, I'm starving,” complained Kurapika, his stomach growling loudly as if to prove his point.

“You should have thought of that at breakfast,” he said, squeezing his arm and laughing.

“I didn't count on getting lost and chased by cows,” said Kurapika, closing his eyes and resting his head against Leorio's chest, “And I don't even have any money.”

“Sounds like you've had an exciting morning.”

“That's one way to put it.”

“Come on, then, I'll get you some lunch,” said Leorio, standing up properly and pulling off his jacket.

“What? But it's still pouring out there!” said Kurapika, already missing Leorio's arm around him.

“There's a café just across the street,” he said, holding his jacket over his head and motioning for Kurapika to come under it, “We can make a run for it.”

“You're completely mad,” Kurapika said, shaking his head, but he moved over anyway.

“Ready? Okay, go!”

They dashed across the street and burst in through the café door, alarming the patrons, and both of them burst out laughing, leaning against each other for support.

“This is... completely... ridiculous,” Kurapika managed to gasp through his laughter, “You're... dripping... everywhere!”

“You are too!” said Leorio, managing to stop laughing for a moment then immediately collapsing again.

It took them a couple of minutes to regain their composure, the rest of the café looking on with expressions varying from amusement to disdain.

“Can I get you a table? Or perhaps a towel?” a pretty waitress with bright blue hair asked.

“I think we might need a bit more than just a towel,” Kurapika said, apologetically looking down at his soaked clothing.

“Sorry about your floor,” added Leorio, looking sheepish.

“Don't worry about it,” she said, smiling, “I'll get you some towels anyway. Do you want to see a menu or are you just avoiding the rain?”

“We'd love some food, actually,” said Leorio, as Kurapika's stomach growled again.

“All right,” she said, leading them over to a table by the window and handing them some menus, “I'll be back in a tick.”

They smiled at each other, almost but not quite bursting out laughing again, and dripped quietly on the table whilst they waited for the waitress to return. Outside, the rain was slacking off, starting to fall more slowly.

“Look,” said Leorio, nodding his head at the window, “We were just unlucky.”

“It's that kind of day, I guess,” said Kurapika, folding his arms on the table and resting his head against them.

“So how _was_ your morning?” asked Leorio, giving him a curious look.

Kurapika sighed, then summarised it as briefly as he could. Leorio laughed at the cow incident until Kurapika fixed him with a steely glare and kicked him under the table. About halfway through, the waitress came back with towels, and they both ordered sandwiches. Kurapika rubbed his hair dry as he talked, then wrapped the towel around his shoulders.

“And that's about it,” Kurapika finished, as the waitress deposited their sandwiches in front of them, “Moral of the story: never walk anywhere.”

“Actually, I think it's _buy a decent phone_ ,” said Leorio, shaking his head, “I can't believe you're still using that thing.”

“There's no signal anyway,” protested Kurapika, “It wouldn't have helped.”

“There's wifi at the hotel, you could at least have looked up a route,” pointed out Leorio, the effect slightly ruined by the fact his mouth was full.

Kurapika made a grumbling noise but couldn't come up with a good counter-argument. They ate in silence. Kurapika stared out at the rain, which was falling slowly but steadily now. He glanced back at Leorio, who was staring at him with a small frown on his face, and flushed slightly, returning his gaze to the rain. Leorio probably thought he was an idiot now – getting chased by cattle and caught in the rain like this – but he was glad to have bumped into him anyway.

“I'm glad you were here,” he said, looking back at Leorio and smiling.

Leorio's eyes hadn't left his face, but his frown was replaced with a warm smile.

“My knight in shining armour,” he added teasingly, then paused and corrected himself, “Well, soggy armour.”

“Thanks,” said Leorio, his tone sarcastic but his smile genuine, “Glad to be of service.”

“Speaking of which, could you give me a lift back? If I never walk anywhere again it'll be too soon.”

“Of course. Your wish is my command,” Leorio said, sketching a mock bow that made Kurapika laugh and hit him around the head.

“Stop being an idiot,” he said, smiling.

“Of course, m'lord.”

Kurapika just rolled his eyes, but the effect was ruined somewhat by the fact that he couldn't stop smiling.

“You're an idiot,” he said. _I love you_ , he thought.

“I know,” said Leorio, cupping his chin in his hands and smiling.

“What are you so happy about?” Kurapika asked, subconsciously leaning forwards.

“You.”

Kurapika's heart fluttered.

“Why?”

“I've never seen you look so... healthy,” he said, waving his hands vaguely, “I think the countryside agrees with you.”

“I nearly got murdered by some cows,” Kurapika pointed out drily, running a hand through his damp hair, “I think the countryside is out to get me.”

“You seem to bleed more in the city,” Leorio said, leaning back in his chair, “Onto my carpets, no lees.”

“Again, that was _one time_ ,” he said, folding his arms petulantly, “Must you always hold it against me?”

“I liked that carpet. It really tied the room together.”

Kurapika snorted.

“It was hideous, Leorio,” he said, shaking his head, “It looked like it was in that house since it was built. Maybe earlier.”

“I'm hurt. Are you insulting my taste?”

“Only at every opportunity.”

Leorio laughed, then smiled ruefully.

“That's true, isn't it?” he said, shaking his head, “You're a terrible friend.”

“I know,” said Kurapika, smiling a little sadly.

“I don't know why I put up with you.”

“Because you love me,” he said, rolling his eyes, “Obviously. Anyway, I'm doing this for you, aren't I? I can't be that bad.”

“True,” said Leorio, “I suppose I'm lucky that the one time you decide to answer your phone, it's at the time no normal person would.”

Kurapika laughed, but he couldn't argue.

“Besides,” Leorio continued, “I can't even say I always answer for you, because you never bother calling. You just turn up. Bleeding, generally.”

“Sometimes I'm not bleeding,” Kurapika argued, trying to think of a time when he wasn't.

“Hmm. Once you were drunk.”

Kurapika's faced turned red as he remembered the night. He'd almost confessed his feelings, and had thrown up on Leorio's shoes instead. It had been a particularly long day.

“Come to think of it, you've gotten a lot of bodily fluids on my carpet,” said Leorio, smiling fondly.

“That's what you get for being so soft-hearted,” said Kurapika, “Most people would have thrown me out.”

And that's why I fell in love with you, he thought, because you're not most people.

“I couldn't do that,” Leorio said, looking hurt, “We're friends. What kind of friend would I be if I let you bleed out on my doorstep?”

Kurapika smiled.

“You were nice to me even before we were friends,” he pointed out.

“Not at first,” Leorio said, shaking his head, “We nearly had a fight, remember?”

“I forgot.”

“You were being a prize arsehole,” he said, smirking, “Some things never change. You're still a rude little shit.”

“What made you change your mind, then?”

“I know you aren't really an arsehole,” he said, leaning forwards, “You like to pretend you are, but secretly? You've got a heart of gold.”

“Gross slander. I'm an arsehole through and through.”

Leorio laughed.

“Have it your way,” he said, “Arsehole.”


	4. Chapter 4

They arrived back at the hotel late in the afternoon, and Leorio was immediately whisked off to help with some wedding thing or other. Kurapika retrieved his book from their room and then settled down in an armchair in the lobby, glancing up whenever someone went past in a frantic hurry for something or other. It was quite pleasant to observe the chaos but not be a part of it. As it started to get dark, Leorio sent him a text asking if he wanted to join the dinner, but he wasn't feeling hungry so he simply replied that he was going to bed, and warned Leorio not to wake him. He stayed down there reading for a bit longer, but got up when he started yawning too often to focus on the page. It wasn't even eight yet, but it had been a long day.

Up in their room, he decided he didn't need another shower, so he just washed his face and brushed his teeth, then changed into his pyjamas, including the sweatshirt. He turned the thermostat right down and cracked the windows open in an attempt to cool the room enough that he wouldn't burn up – at least, not until Leorio decided to smother him again. Satisfied, he curled up in bed with his book. He barely managed to read a paragraph before his eyes began to droop shut again. After a few minutes of reading and rereading the same line, he fell asleep, the light still on and the book slipping through his fingers to land softly on the floor.

He woke up briefly when Leorio stumbled in, obviously drunk but trying to hide it and doing his best not to wake Kurapika up, at some point long past midnight. Kurapika smiled sleepily to himself at Leorio bumbled around in the bathroom, and drifted back into unconsciousness some time before he slid into the bed next to him. Sleepy and unthinking, they slid together, Kurapika's back pressed to Leorio's chest and his head tucked under his chin, an arm draped loosely over his waist.

He was lying in bed, Leorio next to him, their limbs tangled together. He stretched sleepily up and Leorio pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He rolled away, blissfully happily, then frowned. Something was wrong, something he couldn't quite place his finger on. Next to him, Leorio smiled, leaning across to kiss him again. It felt like he was floating; everything around him was fuzzy. He looked at Leorio, frowning again. Leorio didn't kiss him like that, except in his dreams. It took him another moment of fuzzy thought to realise that must make this a dream, and a wave of disappointment washed over him. He pushed Leorio away, and he vanished. The dream changed, became another familiar scene, one far less enticing to him. He couldn't feel his legs, couldn't control them, but felt himself moving along the quiet street anyway, floating inexorably towards the door. He knew what was waiting for him inside, but he felt himself screaming anyway. The blood was too bright and there was too much and he knew it was wrong, he knew every detail however much he tried to forget. He couldn't stop seeing it, couldn't shut his eyes, couldn't stop screaming and screaming and screaming. He was twelve again, haunted by the sight of his family, haunted by the thought that he should have been there. He couldn't stop screaming and he couldn't wake up and he couldn't stop seeing it, and, through it all, he couldn't stop noticing every small detail his subconscious had gotten wrong.

He woke up to Leorio gently stroking his hair, leaning over him and muttering comforting platitudes.

“It's all right, I'm all right, I'm awake,” he said, sitting up and hugging his knees to his chest, “It was just a dream, I'm all right.”

“Can I get you anything?” Leorio asked, one hand hovering over his shoulder like he wasn't sure whether his touch would be welcomed.

“No,” said Kurapika, shaking his head, “I'm fine. I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?”

“You were moving around a lot,” he said, finally dropping his hand back to his side.

“Sorry about that. Did I... say anything? Or make any kind of... noise?”

“You were mostly... moaning. You sounded upset,” said Leorio, gently resting a hand on his back, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I haven't- It's been a long time since I had that nightmare,” he said, burying his face in his knees, “It was... when I found them. I still- I can't get the image out of my head.”

He felt the tears sliding between his closed eyelids despite his best efforts to keep them in. Leorio pulled him into a hug as he let out a hiccuping sob.

“I'm so sorry,” he said, one hand rubbing his back, “I wish I could- I wish there was something I could do.”

Kurapika tried to reply, but his voice was choked by sobs. He went to pull away, angry at himself for breaking down like this, then gave in and cried into Leorio's t-shirt until the sobs faded away. He lay like that, his tear-stained face pressed against Leorio's chest, the occasional sob breaking through, until he drifted back to sleep. This time, it was blissfully dreamless.

The next time he woke up, Leorio was shaking him and looking slightly panicked.

“Kurapika! Wake up! Please!” he said, as Kurapika rolled over and attempted to bury his head in the blankets.

“Kurapika! It's ten o' clock already, you need to get _dressed_. I need to be at the church in half an hour.”

Kurapika groaned, but let Leorio tug him out from under the blankets and shove him towards the bathroom.

“My bag,” he mumbled, and Leorio grabbed it and threw it in after him.

“Be quick. Please.”

He showered as fast as he could and tugged on his suit, not bothering to do up the tie. He stumbled out of the bathroom and Leorio immediately grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room and all the way to the lift. Leorio pressed the button then bent down and did Kurapika's tie up for him. Kurapika could have done it himself, but he was too tired to protest.

“We don't have time for breakfast,” said Leorio apologetically.

“It's fine,” said Kurapika, following him into the lobby, “I'm sorry I overslept.”

“Don't worry about it,” he said, leading the way out to his car, “You looked like you needed your sleep.”

Kurapika proved his point by dozing off on the five minute car journey to the church. Leorio shook him awake gently when they arrived, then deposited him on a pew near the back, his head leaning against a pillar, while he went off to join the wedding party. He was mostly awake by the time other people started filing in, but still too out of it to stop himself from staring at Leorio for the entire ceremony. He'd never say it to his face, but he looked ridiculously handsome in his suit, and the joy and pride on his face as his cousin got married warmed Kurapika's heart.

Leorio was still excited when he rejoined Kurapika outside the church, enough to run over to him and pick him up in a dramatic hug, his feet dangling nearly a foot above the ground.

“Put me down, you big idiot,” laughed Kurapika, wrapping his arms around Leorio's neck and resting his head against him.

“Never,” said Leorio, tightening his arms around Kurapika's waist.

Still laughing, Kurapika wrapped his legs around Leorio's waist.

“Fine,” he said, tightening his grip around Leorio's neck, “Now you can never put me down again.”

“I'm okay with that,” said Leorio, starting to walk towards his car, “This might not be the safest way to drive back, though.”

“Is the reception straight away?”

“Yeah, I think there's a buffet running all afternoon. God, I'm starving, I've barely eaten all day,” said Leorio, his stomach rumbling as if to prove his point.

“Okay, you can put me down, then,” said Kurapika, laughing and unwrapping his legs, “Your stomach wins.”

“Curse you, stomach,” he said, lightly dropping Kurapika onto his car bonnet.

Kurapika paused, his arms still loosely draped around Leorio's neck, then smiled and pulled him in for a kiss. The moment was slightly ruined by Leorio's stomach grumbling, and he broke away, laughing.

“I'm trying to be romantic, you arse,” he scolded, hopping off the bonnet, “Was that good enough for you?”

Leorio looked slightly flustered, stumbling over his words for a moment before settling on “Uh. Yes. Let's go.”

Smiling to himself, Kurapika slid into the passenger seat and waited for Leorio to get in. Even though this was his idea, Leorio was still adorably awkward about their public displays of affection. Idly, Kurapika wondered whether he'd be like that in private, then quickly dragged his mind away from that route. No point wondering about something that could never be.

They made a beeline for the buffet as soon as they arrived back at the hotel. Leorio piled an obscene amount of food onto his plate and started eating it before they'd even found their seats. Kurapika watched him eating with a look of mingled horror and admiration, his own hunger almost forgotten. He continued sneaking mouthfuls throughout the toasts, despite repeated elbows to the ribs from Kurapika.

“You're an animal,” Kurapika hissed, as the final toast finished.

Leorio just winked at him, earning himself another jab. Grinning, he picked up his now-empty plate and went back for seconds.

“I can't believe how much you're eating,” Kurapika said as Leorio sat down, giving his own half-full plate a meaningful look.

“There's a reason I'm so much taller than you,” said Leorio with his mouth full, making Kurapika pull a disgusted face.

“Genetics?” he suggested, glancing around the room, “Your whole family is giant.”

“You're just jealous.”

“Yes, I desperately want to hit my head every time I walk through a door,” said Kurapika drily.

“Not _every_ time,” said Leorio, “Some places are just designed for midgets.”

“I'm closer to average than you are!” protested Kurapika, “You're the abnormal one here.”

“I'm closer to average for this room,” he said, smirking, and Kurapika rolled his eyes.

“So, what else is happening this afternoon?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Uh, there's dancing in a bit. Open bar. I think that's pretty much it,” Leorio said, chewing thoughtfully.

Kurapika looked around the room, noticing the empty space in the middle and the stage set up for the band.

“Where's the bar?” he asked.

“Over there,” said Leorio, pointing and then nodding at Kurapika's still half-full plate, “Hey, are you going to eat that?”

“You can have it,” he said, standing up, “Do you want a drink?”

“Sure, whatever you're having.”

Kurapika stared thoughtfully at the drinks menu for a moment before ordering two glasses of wine. He flushed angrily when the bartender asked for ID, and fixed him with a steely glance as she examined his driving license, daring her to say something. She didn't rise to the challenge, simply handing him the glasses with a smile and moving along to serve the man next to him.

“I can't believe I'm still getting ID'd,” he complained, as he collapsed into his seat.

“You're only 21,” said Leorio, taking his glass off of him, “They're supposed to ID you if you look under 25, you know. If anything, it's a compliment.”

“I bet you never get ID'd,” he said, sipping his drink, “And you're only two years older than me.”

“Well, Gon and Killua are always saying I look like an old man,” Leorio said, looking appropriately grumpy.

“They have a point,” he said, smirking.

“How dare you!” Leorio protested, “I look perfect for my age.”

Kurapika laughed into his glass.

“And so modest, too,” he said, with a broad grin.

“I can see why you're in love with me,” said Leorio, gesturing expansively, “I'd be in love with me too.”

“I thought you already were,” Kurapika said, trying to ignore his racing heartbeat. He knew Leorio was just joking, but he still had a moment of panic, wondering whether he really was that obvious.

“Maybe,” he said, downing his drink and standing up, “Another drink?”

“Sure, why not?” said Kurapika, even though his glass was still half full.

He watched Leorio walk up to the bar, enjoying the view, and didn't notice when an obviously intoxicated older man slid into Leorio's vacated seat.

“So, you're Leorio's partner, then,” he said, his voice a little too loud.

“Hmm?” said Kurapika, not looking away from Leorio's behind as he leant over the bar, “Oh, yes, I am.”

“Not what I expected, but then, he didn't say much about you,” he chuckled affably.

“I'm sure he didn't,” he said, smiling as Leorio turned around and met his gaze.

“Well, I have to say,” he said, shifting his weight, “I can't think why he'd be embarrassed of you.”

“He's not,” said Kurapika absently, “He's just...”

He trailed off, not sure how to finish the sentence.

“Uncertain,” he said, as Leorio wove his way back over to them.

“Uncertain?” said the man, frowning.

“Uncle Bernie!” Leorio said, depositing a drink in front of Kurapika and leaning down to give the man a one-armed hug, “It's been too long!”

“Leorio!” he said, hugging him back enthusiastically, “I've just been talking to your...”

“Kurapika,” interjected Kurapika helpfully, “It's lovely to meet you, sir.”

“Likewise,” he said, grinning widely, “Can't think why this one's been keeping you a secret. Wants you all to himself, eh?”

Leorio chuckled.

“Who wouldn't?” said Kurapika, smiling.

Uncle Bernie laughed heartily, and Leorio shook his head, smiling fondly.

“I always knew, you know,” he said, slapping Leorio on the back, “I always knew it.”

“You old liar, you never knew,” said Leorio, shoving him playfully.

“I did too,” he said indignantly, “Anyway, my boy, tell me how it works! Who's on top, eh?”

Leorio started to say something, but Kurapika interrupted him before he could get a word out.

“I am, of course,” he said smoothly, “Leorio just loves taking it up the arse.”

“Kurapika!” said Leorio, looking exaggeratedly shocked, “ _Please._ ”

Uncle Bernie froze for a moment, then started laughing uproariously.

“I'm serious,” said Kurapika, suppressing a smile.

“Okay, okay, I'm taking my seat back,” said Leorio, herding his uncle out of his chair and away from the table, “You two aren't allowed to talk to each other any more.”

They managed to get through several glasses – enough that Kurapika lost count – before the band started playing and the couple stepped out for their first dance. Kurapika was happy to sit and watch the people dancing, the wine providing a soft fuzzy haze to his mind that made him feel peaceful and happy. Leorio, however, had other ideas.

“Come on, let's dance,” he said, holding his hand out to Kurapika.

“Absolutely not,” said Kurapika, staring at his hand like it had a spider on it.

“Please?” said Leorio, grabbing Kurapika by the arm and pulling him out of his chair, “It'll be fun.”

“I'm so glad we're going home tomorrow,” he said, but let Leorio drag him into the middle of the dance floor.

He was somewhat surprised to find that Leorio was actually a good dancer. He hadn't expected to enjoy himself this much – and he put some of that down to the wine – but dancing with Leorio was surprisingly good fun, even without bringing his feelings into account.

“You were right,” he said, smiling. He'd lost track of how long they'd been dancing for.

“What was that?” Leorio said, leaning down.

“I said you were right,” said Kurapika, pulling Leorio down so his ear was next to his mouth, “This is fun.”

Leorio laughed triumphantly, then smiled as the music became slower. Wrapping his arms around Leorio's waist, Kurapika stepped in closer, resting his head against Leorio's chest.

“You're too tall to slow dance with,” he complained, their movements reduced to shuffling vaguely in time with the beat.

“You mean you're too short,” teased Leorio, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

Kurapika smiled, closing his eyes and leaning into Leorio, feeling warm and safe. Few things comforted him as much as Leorio; despite all the difficulties, he'd be sad to lose this.

“Mm, I'm sleepy,” he said, stifling a yawn.

“Already?” Leorio said, his voice soft and teasing, and Kurapika nodded, “Do you want to go to bed now?”

“Only if you carry me,” he said, leaning heavily into Leorio, “I'm so sleepy.”

Leorio chuckled softly, lifting him off his feet and hoisting him over his shoulder.

“You don't drink much, huh,” Leorio said, making his way off the dance floor, which was now mostly empty, and out into the lobby.

“This is the least romantic way to carry me,” Kurapika complained.

“You can't have everything,” he replied, shifting his grip so he could press the button for the lift.

“You're the worst boyfriend ever,” Kurapika grumbled.

“Says the ungrateful guy I'm carrying up to bed after he drank too much and nearly passed out.”

“It's late and I'm tired,” he protested, as Leorio stepped into the lift.

“You're barely conscious,” Leorio said, pressing the button for their floor, “Shh. Go to sleep.”

Kurapika mumbled a few profanities but subsided, drifting in and out of consciousness. He woke up briefly as Leorio deposited him in the bed, and tugged off his shoes, jacket and tie, then again when he slid in next to him. He knew he should get up and change – his ribs were starting to ache and he'd regret leaving his binder on if he fell asleep like this – but he couldn't find the energy to move. Moaning softly, he rolled over and snuggled up to Leorio, falling asleep in his arms.

He woke up a few hours later with sore ribs and a full bladder. Groaning, he extracted himself from Leorio's arms, grabbed his bag and shuffled into the bathroom. He managed to pee, and exchange his shirt and binder for a sweatshirt, deciding that it wasn't worth the effort to change into his pyjama trousers. Trying not to trip over anything, he stumbled back the bed and collapsed. Leorio unconsciously moved to wrap his arms around him, and he sighed softly, leaning into his warm embrace. He was definitely going to miss this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: this is where the rating rises so... consider yourself warned

The next morning was a sleepy mess of stumbling around and getting ready, mostly talking in grunts. They mutually decided to skip breakfast and eat later in favour of getting on the road sooner. Kurapika spent most of the trip surreptitiously staring at Leorio, trying to memorise every detail of him before they had to separate again. He didn't talk much, except to tease Leorio about his choice of radio station (Classic FM – he said it was relaxing), and Leorio was happy to drive in silence. They made good time, pulling up outside Kurapika's door a little after one. Kurapika sat there for a moment in silence, staring out of the window, wondering at how quickly he'd run out of time.

“So,” said Leorio eventually, “Thank you.”

“You owe me one,” said Kurapika, undoing his seatbelt and smiling.

“I know. I'll call you.”

“I'll think about answering,” he said, getting out of the car.

Leorio laughed. Kurapika stood on the curb and watched him drive off, staying there for a short, wistful moment after he disappeared around the corner. Sighing, he unlocked his door and stepped inside. The weekend had been a wonderful escape from reality, but now it was back to his life – without Leorio.

He'd just about had the presence of mind to text Melody as they left ( _Something came up. Gone until Monday. Cover for me_.), making that another favour he owed her – although by this point, it was barely worth keeping track. She'd texted him back asking if it had something to do with Leorio, and when he didn't reply, she wrote _Good luck!_ and added a thumbs-up emoji. Rereading the short conversation, he could feel his ears burning read, but sent her a message saying he was back now anyway. She replied almost immediately, asking him to meet her for lunch. He sighed, but said yes. He owed her that much, at least.

“So, how was it?” she asked, as Kurapika bit into his sandwich, “ _What_ was it?”

“A wedding,” he said, then hurriedly added, “Not mine, of course.”

“I should hope not,” she said, laughing, “Surely you'll invite me to that.”

Kurapika laughed shortly, his smile fading quickly afterwards.

“Oh, dear,” said Melody, shaking her head, “So tell me everything.”

Kurapika quickly summarised his weekend, between bites of his sandwich, Melody listening on attentively.

“So, if anything,” he concluded, resting his elbows on the table and dropping his face into his hands, “It's worse than ever.”

“Why didn't you just tell him?” she asked, wide-eyed, “You had so many opportunities.”

“I know,” he said, collapsing his arms so they were folded flat on the table, his head resting on his forearms, “It's easier said than done. It just never feels like the right time. And besides that, what if it just makes things worse? I don't want to lose his friendship.”

“It's a tricky situation,” agreed Melody, looking thoughtful, “But, in the end, you just need to follow your heart.”

Kurapika made a wordless sound of distress, hiding his face in his arms. That was much easier for her to say than for him to do.

It took him a long time to fall asleep that night. He missed the feeling of Leorio's warm body next to his, his arms around him and his smell everywhere. It was hard to sleep alone after that. He kept thinking he could reach out and Leorio would be there, and every time he wasn't, a sharp stab of dismay pricked his stomach.

He drifted awake to the feeling of a head between his legs, his fingers gripping short hair, pulling and twisting, his breath coming in short gasps.

“Ah! Leorio!” he moaned, his back arching, the hand between his legs desperately sliding back and forth.

He clenched his eyes shut as he became more and more conscious, the image slipping away from him until at last he no longer had the illusion of company. Moaning, he rolled over, sleepily grinding his hips against his hand until at last he let out a small gasp and fell still, blissful happiness washing over him. He lay still for a few minutes, then twisted, groaning, so he could see his alarm clock. Nearly time to get up for work. He sighed, wishing he could have held onto the dream for a little longer. It would be nice to be able to have Leorio _somewhere_ , even if only in his dreams. Sighing again, he pushed himself upright and swung his legs out of bed, groping for his phone. He'd just found it when it started playing _La Cucaracha_ , alarming him badly enough that he almost dropped it. Eyeing it warily, he decided Leorio could wait, and abandoned the phone on his bed, heading instead for the shower. He ended up forgetting to take it with him when he left, and although he kept telling himself he'd call Leorio back, he didn't quite manage to get around to it.

He managed to avoid thinking about Leorio until Friday, when he started calling again. He had fourteen missed calls by the time he got home. Staring blankly at his phone, he sighed and then turned it off, but he couldn't stop thinking about Leorio. Around 11, he stripped off, intending to get ready for bed, but he opened his wardrobe instead and pulled out a nondescript box sitting on the floor. He stared at it thoughtfully for a moment before opening it and sorting through the clothes inside until he found what he was looking for. He pulled on the underwear first, which was lacy and black and tiny and gave him mixed feelings – _I look good_ mixed with _This isn't me_. It had been a while since he'd done this, but tonight he needed to forget, and this was the best way. Although being mistaken for a girl made him feel sick, it was better than having to justify his genitalia to a complete stranger, and he was feeling low enough already that it wouldn't make a difference. Next, he pulled on low-slung black jeans and a black crop top with a parental advisory logo printed on it, loose enough to make him feel better about wearing a bra. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, admiring his toned abs despite himself, before digging out an eyeliner pencil and carefully outlining his eyes, then sweeping on a quick coat of mascara. He admired his handiwork before turning around and considering his shoes. Heels wouldn't do; he wasn't entirely sure he could walk in them any more. It took him a moment to find them, but he finally dug out some scuffed white Toms and pulled them on. They might not be pretty, but they were comfortable and familiar. He shoved his wallet in his pocket, even though he didn't intend on buying his own drinks tonight, chucked his phone on his bed and left.

The walk to the closest bar made him glad he'd chosen comfortable shoes. The floor made him glad they were old and dirty already. Slipping through the crowd, he made his way to the bar and leaned against it, casually surveying the crowd.

“Can I buy you a drink?” said a soft voice next to him, just audible over the noise of the bar.

“Sure,” he said, dragging his gaze searchingly up the man's body to his face, which was plain but not unpleasant, his dark hair falling into his eyes. Something about him was slightly unsettling, but he couldn't decide what.

“What do you want?” he asked, looking unphased as he met Kurapika's intense stare.

“Anything.”

Kurapika returned to staring at the other people in the bar as a cold drink was pressed into his hand. He swallowed it quickly, the taste barely registering, and deposited on the bar.

“Another?” the man next to him asked, sounding faintly amused.

Kurapika nodded, not looking at him.

“I'm-” he began, handing Kurapika another drink.

“I don't care,” Kurapika interrupted, giving him a fierce look, “I'm not interested in names.”

“Hmm,” he said, leaning in closer, “What are you interested in?”

“We'll see,” he replied, downing his drink and handing the empty glass back.

The man laughed softly, but turned around to order some more drinks. Three drinks later, Kurapika was drunk enough to overcome his faint sense of unease and pull the man in for a sloppy kiss. He laughed softly as he pulled away, starting to say something, but was interrupted by a large man who came up behind Kurapika and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“All right, sweetheart?” he leered, leaning heavily against him, “Wanna gimme some o' that?”

“Get your hand off me or lose it,” said Kurapika, his tone calm but his knuckles white where they were gripping the man's hand.

“Ooh, feisty, are we?”

Kurapika growled, twisting around in a swift movement until he was behind the man, his arm pulled up behind him just short of breaking point.

“Let's try that again, shall we?” he said coolly, twisting the man's arm when he started to struggle, “Apologise or I'll break it.”

“Fuck you.”

There was a sickening crack as Kurapika twisted his arm further, snapping the bone, and the man collapsed to the floor, whimpering. Kurapika stepped away dispassionately, making his way to the door before anyone could work out what happened. Leaning against the wall outside, he sighed.

“I hope you weren't intending on doing that to me,” said a soft voice beside him, and he looked up, startled to see the man from the bar had followed.

“That depends,” he said, with a humourless smile.

“I'm willing to risk it,” he said, leaning in so Kurapika could feel his breath against his cheek.

Kurapika sighed softly, then shook his head.

“I'm going home.”

He didn't look back as he walked off, but he could feel the other man's eyes on him. He couldn't help but think that was a lucky escape, but even so, he didn't want to give up so easily. It was still early, and he was still tipsy, so continued until he spotted another bar. It was quite obviously a gay bar, as the neon rainbow sign attested, and he briefly weighed up his chances before pushing the door open. This wasn't the time to agonise over his sexuality – which varied from _whoever is nearest_ to _no one at all_ depending on his current emotional state – and although he didn't think he could fall in love with a girl, that didn't matter tonight. He sat down at the bar and managed to get through two drinks before a girl with a bright pink pixie cut sat next to him.

“Rough day, eh?” she said, sliding a shot glass over to him.

He considered it briefly before knocking it back.

“Rough week,” he said, blinking hazily at her.

“Want to talk about it?” she asked, reaching out and tucking his hair behind his ear, her hand lingering there, just barely touching him.

“No,” he said, leaning in closer, “Do you?”

She laughed softly, then leant in and kissed him. Her lips were soft and they tasted faintly fruity, and her fingers tangled roughly in his hair.

“That answer your question?” she asked, barely pulling away, her breath hot against his lips.

“Mm,” he said, kissing her again, his mind too fuzzy to think of doing anything else.

He followed without thinking when she stood up and pulled him away from the bar, pushing him into a dark corner where her mouth left dark bruises on his neck and her hands roamed his body freely. She chuckled when he moaned, too dizzy to even think about doing anything other than stand there, wedged between her body and the wall. She was a couple of inches taller than him, enough that she had to bend down to kiss him.

“God, you're drunk,” she whispered, her teeth grazing his earlobe.

“Mm,” he said, rocking his hips into her and whining softly.

“I'm getting you a cab,” she said, pulling back, “This is-”

“Shut up,” he said, pulling her back in, “I don't care.”

“Do you even remember your address?” she said, her hand tracing distracting patterns on his midriff.

“Mm,” he said, reciting in quickly then smirking, “Why, do you want to come home with me?”

“Sure,” she said, laughing, “If you're still standing when we get there-”

“I don't plan on standing for long.”

He was woken up the next morning by the sound of _La Cucaracha_ coming from somewhere near his left knee. His memories of the previous night were somewhat patchy, but he was naked and sore, and the pink-haired girl was gone. Cursing Leorio, he groped for the phone and flipped it open.

“What?” he growled, rolling onto his back.

“Do you _ever_ answer your phone?” Leorio said, sounding both angry and amused.

“Clearly.”

“Hmm. Well, I've been _trying_ to talk to you,” he said, whilst Kurapika looked over at his alarm clock and then groaned, throwing his free arm over his face.

“I saw,” Kurapika said, rolling his eyes, “I was going to call you back. Is it urgent?”

“ _Yes_. I need your help.”

“No.”

Kurapika flipped his phone shut, then sighed as it immediately began to ring again.

“Don't hang up on me like that!” Leorio yelled the moment he answered, “This is important, damn it.”

“Ask someone else.”

“I can't,” Leorio said, sounding frustrated, “Look, my mother is coming to stay with me tomorrow.”

“So what?”

“So she thinks we're living together!”

“Tell her I'm away,” Kurapika said, examining his nails.

“She's staying for a week. It'd be too suspicious.”

“Well, what do you want me to do about it? This is your mess.”

“I know,” said Leorio, sighing, “I need to ask you another favour. Could you come and stay with me? Just for the week? I promise this is the last time. I can pretend to break up with you or whatever you want afterwards. Just, please? For me?”

Kurapika sighed, pretending to consider it, but he knew he was going to agree from the moment Leorio asked him for his help.

“Fine,” he said, “I'll come over later. You really owe me now, you know.”

“I know.”

He hung up without saying goodbye, then stared blankly at the ceiling for a few minutes. Thankfully, he wasn't on duty today, and he wouldn't have to miss any more shifts for this charade, but it was still tiring – emotionally more than physically. 


	6. Chapter 6

He showered and dressed slowly, trying to prepare himself for a whole week of not just pretending to date Leorio, but actually living with him. He couldn't concentrate properly, partially because of his hangover, buttoning his shirt wrong twice before getting it right, but finally he managed to get out the door, a scarf wrapped around his neck to cover the marks the previous night had left on him. In his hungover state, he decided he couldn't justify driving, so he started walking. It was a little over a mile to Leorio's house, and he hoped the fresh air would help clear his head.

He stood outside the door for a long moment, staring up at the semi-detached house in front of him. It wasn't much, but it did look nicer than the tiny one-bedroom terraced house he rented, so cramped it seemed more like an afterthought than an actual house.

“Oh, thank god, you came,” Leorio said, pulling the door open as soon as Kurapika rang the doorbell, “Wait, where's your stuff?”

“What?” said Kurapika, frowning as he stepped through the door.

“Your things? Didn't you bring anything?” said Leorio, closing the door behind him and following Kurapika through to the living room.

“Oh. I forgot,” said Kurapika, curling up in an armchair and staring blankly at the television, which was off.

“That's not like you,” he said, sitting down then immediately standing back up and starting to pace, “Oh, well, you can pick some things up tomorrow. Mum isn't arriving until the afternoon.”

“Why not today?” Kurapika asked, his eyes flickering briefly to Leorio and then back again.

Leorio just waved a hand at him and then strode out of the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, his thoughts going in circles, before Leorio returned.

“Hey,” Leorio said, kneeling down next to his chair, “Are you all right?”

“Hmm?” Kurapika replied, looking up at Leorio, “Oh, I'm fine.”

“Excellent. Gon is coming over, then,” he said, standing up, “Keep an eye on him for me, would you?”

It took a moment for Leorio's words to sink in.

“Wait, what?” said Kurapika, leaping to his feet and yelling at Leorio's retreating back, “He's not _my_ kid!”

“He's not mine, either!” Leorio shouted back, slamming the door behind him.

“You soft-hearted son of a bitch,” Kurapika cursed, throwing himself back into his chair.

He only had a few minutes to sulk before there was a loud, enthusiastic knock on the door. Sighing, he got up, strode over and opened it, a little harder than necessary.

“Kurapika!” Gon shouted, almost knocking him over with an over-enthusiastic hug.

“Ah, Gon,” said Kurapika, awkwardly patting his gelled hair, “I thought you'd have a key by now.”

Gon laughed, sounding embarrassed, and stepped back, rubbing the back of his head with one head.

“I did,” he said, “But I think I lost it.”

“Oh, Gon,” Kurapika said, shaking his head, but he stepped aside and let him walk in past him.

He shut the door carefully behind him before following Gon through to the kitchen, where he was already rummaging through Leorio's fridge.

“Have you had lunch yet?” Kurapika asked, glancing up at the clock and blinking a couple of times when he saw it was already past two.

“Nope! Do you want some?” he replied, pulling out an odd assortment of foods out and scattering them across the counters.

“Um... what are you making?” he asked, eyeing the ingredients somewhat apprehensively.

“Sandwiches! What flavour?” said Gon, pulling out some plates and a loaf of bread.

“Oh, just ham is fine, thank you,” Kurapika said hurriedly, unable to take his eyes off the odd selection of foods Gon was piling into an approximation of a sandwich.

“Okay! Oh, hey!” he said, dropping everything and practically skipping over to Kurapika's side, “Am I taller than you yet?”

He pulled himself up to his full height and skimmed a hand across the top of his head to Kurapika's forehead, slightly above his eyebrows.

“Not yet,” said Kurapika, smiling, “I'm sure you'll get a growth spurt soon, though.”

“I hope so,” he said, pouting and returning to the sandwiches, “Killua is still taller than me.”

Kurapika laughed, then said “Well, at least he's not as tall as Leorio.”

“I've given up on trying to beat Leorio,” Gon admitted, laughing, “He's unnaturally tall.”

He finished off the sandwiches and handed one to Kurapika, who was relieved to see it looked edible after all. They ate in the kitchen, Gon babbling the whole time and Kurapika nodding at appropriate points. The doorbell rang just as they finished eating, and Gon sprinted to the door. From the enthusiastic greeting, Kurapika guessed it could only be Killua at the door.

“Can we use the Wii?” Gon asked, coming into the kitchen so fast Kurapika was amazed he hadn't knocked anything over.

“Um, sure,” said Kurapika, staring after the teenagers as they sprinted up to the guest bedroom, which was also unofficially Gon's room since he started staying with Leorio when his dad wasn't home (which was most of the time) and his aunt couldn't take him.

He thought about following them up, but decided to leave them to their own devices and returned to the living room, tugging a book off of a shelf at random and curling up in the armchair to read it. It turned out to be a psychology textbook, but it was actually quite interesting, so he continued reading it until Leorio returned.

“This is for you,” he said, handing him a key, “Is that one of my textbooks? God, I can barely read them when I have to.”

“It's quite interesting, actually,” said Kurapika, closing the book and putting it to one side.

“You're such a nerd,” Leorio said, shaking his head, “Anyway, is Gon still here?”

“He's upstairs.”

“Can you go and ask him if he's staying for dinner?” Leorio asked, walking through to the kitchen.

“Sure.”

Kurapika climbed the stairs and pushed open the door to the guest room, which was slightly ajar.

“Gon, Leorio wants to know...” he trailed off, his face turning red, as he stared at the two boys in front of him, their Wiimotes abandoned in front of them and Gon's hand gently cupping Killua's cheek as he kissed him chastely. Killua's face turned bright red as he pulled away and glared at Kurapika.

“Hey, is Killua up there?” Leorio yelled up the stairs, “Have they got the door open?”

“Just about,” replied Kurapika, barely suppressing his laughter, “Should I send them down?”

“Gon! Get down here!” yelled Leorio, sounding more fatherly than ever.

Gon skipped out of the room and down the stairs, not looking particularly contrite. Downstairs, Leorio started lecturing him about rules and boundaries.

“Well, I'm glad I came up when I did,” Kurapika said, smiling.

“Shut up,” said Killua, somehow managing to turn even more red.

“Will you be staying for dinner?”

Killua hesitated, then nodded and stood up. Kurapika was slightly surprised to notice he was now just about taller than he was. Last time he'd seen the teenagers, he'd been taller than both. Idly, he wondered how long that had been. The three people in this house were, perhaps, his closest friends, and he hadn't seen them in so long he couldn't remember when all of them had last been together in the same room.

Leorio had roped Gon into helping him cook, making the kitchen a danger zone, so Killua and Kurapika decided to wait in the living room. Kurapika returned to reading the textbook, and Killua sat in the far corner of the room doing tricks with a yoyo. Every so often he glanced over at the younger boy, who was studiously avoiding meeting his gaze. When their eyes did meet, mostly by chance, his face turned pink and Kurapika had to hide his smile. He had to admit it was adorable how flustered Killua had been to be caught, in something so innocent as a kiss, when he was usually so brash.

“Killua!” Leorio called, pausing then swearing loudly as something clashed loudly in the kitchen, “Come set the table!”

“Watch your fucking language, old man,” said Killua, shoving his hands in his pockets as he made his way through to the kitchen.

“Don't swear,” Leorio replied, and Kurapika heard a loud thump followed by a string of expletives from Killua.

“Hey, you swore first!”

“I'm allowed to swear, I'm an adult.”

Killua grumbled something that Kurapika couldn't quite catch over the sound of cutlery rattling, but whatever it was earned him another thump.

“Stop hitting the children, Leorio,” Kurapika called, not looking up from his book.

“Hey, that was Gon!” Leorio shouted back, “Tell him off!”

“Stop hitting Killua, Gon.”

“You're not my real mum!” Gon shouted, and even though he couldn't see him, Kurapika knew he was sticking his tongue out at him.

“Don't talk to your mother like that,” Leorio scolded, another loud banging noise cutting him off, “Fuck! Okay, Killua, are you done setting the table yet? Dinner is nearly ready.”

Killua swore loudly and inventively, but Kurapika could hear him setting the cutlery down forcefully on the table anyway.

“Is everything okay out there?” Kurapika asked, closing the textbook and putting it to one side, “It sounds like World War III out there.”

“We're fine- No! Don't touch that!” said Leorio, as Gon let out a pained yelp.

“Are you sure?” he said, cautiously poking his head into the kitchen, “Can I help?”

“Please try to keep Gon out of danger for the moment,” Leorio said, gesturing at the boy currently holding a bright red hand under the tap, “And don't touch anything hot.”

“Oh, Gon, what did you do?” said Kurapika, leaning over his hand and gently tilting it from side to side under the stream of water.

“I touched the stove,” he said, through gritted teeth, “But it's fine! I'm okay.”

“You're lucky it's not more serious,” Leorio interjected, tutting loudly, “Remember to keep it under the water for 20 minutes.”

“But dinner will get cold!”

“Dinner can wait,” Kurapika said, rummaging through Leorio's drawers until he managed to find some cling film, “How much does it hurt?”

“It barely hurts at all,” insisted Gon, although his expression gave him away, “I'm fine.”

Kurapika made a small humming noise of disbelief.

“Keep it under the tap,” he said, leaning over again and examining it, “It looks quite superficial, so I don't think you need to go to A&E. But honestly, Gon, why did you touch it?”

“Because he's an idiot,” said Killua, leaning against the door frame and folding his arms.

“I didn't do it on purpose,” said Gon, pouting, “I was just leaning against the side and I didn't pay attention to where my hands were.”

Kurapika sighed, shaking his head, and glanced up at the clock.

“Okay, keep your hand there for 10 more minutes,” he said.

“I hope dinner isn't ruined,” Gon said, looking guilty.

“It'll be fine,” said Leorio, looking up from the pot he was stirring, “It's just bolognaise.”

“How did you manage to make so much mess making bolognaise?” asked Kurapika, surveying the kitchen with a horrified expression.

“Gon,” said Killua, like that explained everything. Unfortunately, it did.

“Killua,” said Leorio sternly, but he didn't correct him, “Get some pasta bowls out.”

Killua sighed, and slammed open the cupboard door hard enough that it immediately swung shut again.

“ _Nicely_ ,” growled Leorio.

“Yes, _dad_ ,” said Killua, sticking his tongue out at Leorio.

“Killua, don't be rude to your father,” said Kurapika, waving the roll of cling film at him.

Killua made a rude gesture at Kurapika, who promptly rapped him on the head with the cling film.

“Ow! That hurt, you bastard,” said Killua, scowling.

“Don't be so fucking rude,” said Kurapika, hitting him again.

Gon turned around to stick his tongue out at Killua, and Kurapika grabbed hold of his wrist to keep his hand under the tap.

“Can't I take it out yet?” he whined, “It really doesn't hurt.”

“In a moment,” said Kurapika, reaching for a tea towel.

“All right, Killua, get out of my way,” said Leorio, picking up the pan and starting to messily serve bolognaise into the bowls.

“Okay, now you can take it out,” said Kurapika, turning off the tap and then gently towelling off Gon's hands, ignoring his winces.

“Do I really need that?” Gon complained, as Kurapika started to wrap his hand in cling film.

“Yes,” said Kurapika, neatly tearing the end and patting it down, “You can eat with your left hand, can't you?”

Killua gave him a sceptical look, but Gon nodded, a determined expression coming onto his face. Kurapika began to regret giving him that challenge, but he took two bowls and carried them over to the table anyway.

“Are you really wearing a scarf at the dinner table?” Leorio asked as he sat down.

“What's wrong with that?” said Kurapika, frowning as he self-consciously raised one hand to touch it.

“Kurapika's got a love bite!” Killua said, grinning through a mouthful of spaghetti.

“I- what- that's-” sputtered Kurapika, his face turning bright red.

“Don't be stupid, Killua,” said Gon, his mouth stuffed impossibly full, “He blushed when he saw us kiss.”

“You're lucky he only saw that,” said Leorio, waving his fork sternly, “I've told you boys, you keep that door open.”

“It was open!” they protested simultaneously.

“Do you and Kurapika have to keep the door open?” added Gon, grinning.

“Of course not,” said Leorio, giving Kurapika a look that was doubtless meant to convey far more than it managed to. Kurapika assumed he'd told the boys they were actually together, rather than relying to Gon not to give up the game.

“Did you give Kurapika a love bite?” asked Killua, with a wicked grin.

“I'm just cold,” said Kurapika, rolling his eyes, “Please, not everything is about sex.”

“Teenagers, eh?” said Leorio, grinning at him.

Kurapika smiled back at him, wondering how he'd react if he knew the boys actually were right. There would probably be yelling involved.

“Whatever,” said Killua, “You're the disgusting old men giving each other love bites.”

“If only I could believe you actually were that innocent,” said Leorio, “But I know you teens.”

“How many decades has it been since you were one?” Killua said, making Gon giggle.

“I'm only 23,” grumbled Leorio, turning Gon's giggles into uncontrolled fits of laughter.

“We know, you're in the prime of life, dear,” teased Kurapika, patting his hand condescendingly.

“I can't believe you're all ganging up on me. Even you! Shouldn't you be on my side?”

“I'm being supportive,” he said, unable to stop himself from smiling.

“I'm still technically a young person, you know,” Leorio said, “I've got the railcard and everything.”

“I thought you had the senior citizens one,” said Killua, smirking, making everyone – even Leorio – laugh.

“You little shit,” said Leorio, through his laughter, “Why did I ever invite you into my home?”

“Because you love me,” said Gon, “And I love Killua.”

“Don't say things like that!” said Killua, his face turning red as he hit Gon around the back of the head, “It's embarrassing.”

“But it's true.”

“Shut up.”

“Ah, young love,” said Leorio, smiling widely.

“Shut up, old man,” said Killua, scowling.

“Boys, please,” said Kurapika, “Don't argue over dinner.”

After dinner, they left the teenagers to clear up – with a stern warning not to break anything – and Kurapika followed Leorio upstairs.

“Wait here a moment,” said Leorio, gently pushing Kurapika through his bedroom door.

“Okay...?” he said, staring after him for a moment before collapsing on Leorio's king size bed.

Leorio came back a few minutes later with a small stack of clothing and a brand new toothbrush.

“These are Gon's, so they might be a little small, but I'm sure they'll fit better than any of mine would,” he said, handing him a set of spiderman pyjamas, “The sweatshirt is mine, though, and the toothbrush is a spare.”

“Thank you,” said Kurapika, clutching the pile to his chest, “I'll buy you a new one tomorrow.”

“Don't worry about it,” said Leorio, tugging off his shirt, “Sorry we have to share a bed again, though.”

Kurapika nodded, ignoring the sickening lurch in his stomach, and made his way into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth thoroughly, then changed in the pyjamas. The legs were a few inches too short, and the top left a strip of his midriff exposed, but the oversized sweatshirt covered everything comfortably and he was touched that Leorio had remembered that, even though he hadn't known why he wore it. He folded his clothes and stacked them in a neat pile, then returned to the bedroom.

“Oh my god,” said Leorio, staring at him with a shocked expression, “The kids were right.”

Kurapika's hands went to his throat, attempting to cover the dark bruises.

“Shut up,” he said, feeling his ears turn red as he turned to look at his reflection in the full-length mirror. The right side of his neck was particularly bad, with one bite so clearly defined you could see the tooth-marks bruised into his pale skin.

“Holy shit,” said Leorio, coming up behind him and staring at his reflection, “Someone got lucky, eh?”

“Stop staring, pervert,” said Kurapika, self-consciously wrapping his hands around his neck.

“And you were being so high and mighty about it, too,” he teased, trying to pull his hands away, “I can't believe you're lying to the kids.”

“Get off me,” said Kurapika, shoving his hands away, “You're just jealous.”

Leorio froze for a split-second before laughing.

“As if,” he scoffed, throwing himself onto the bed.

“You _are_ ,” said Kurapika, his expression oscillating between shock and glee.

“I am not,” huffed Leorio, folding his arms.

“You're actually jealous,” he said, laughing, “You talk big but you couldn't even get a date for a wedding in six months, so you had to resort to asking me – and now you're jealous I can get some and you can't.”

He laughed again, covering his mouth with one hand.

“Don't be an arse, Kurapika,” said Leorio crossly, “What's my mother going to think when she sees those?”

Kurapika started laughing harder.

“Did you do this on purpose?” he continued, scowling, “Was this all a big ploy to embarrass me? In front of my _mum_?”

“Oh, _please_ ,” said Kurapika, sliding into the bed, “Not everything I do revolves around you.”

“You're such a twat,” he said, reaching over and poking one of the bruises.

“Ow, that hurt,” said Kurapika, swatting his hand, “Don't be petty. I'll cover them up tomorrow.”

“You'd better.”


	7. Chapter 7

Leorio's bed was large and comfortable enough that Kurapika managed to sleep better than he had in a long time, even with Leorio attempting to invade his personal space. When he woke up, Leorio was gone, and there was a towel with a post-it note stuck to it on the pillow next to him, which read _Good morning, lazy. Went out to get some things. See if you can find anything in my wardrobe that fits you, we can get your things after you have breakfast._ Kurapika snorted, crumpling the note, and grabbed the towel. He showered quickly then scurried back into the bedroom, towel wrapped around him, to survey his options. Tugging his binder on, he contemplated his dirty underwear for a moment before digging through Leorio's underwear drawer. He managed to find a pair of boxer briefs that weren't too loose, so he pulled them on, trying not to think about the fact that he was wearing Leorio's underwear. Next, he pulled open Leorio's wardrobe, even though he was fairly sure nothing would fit him, and rifled quickly through the clothes. His fingers settled on a soft, floaty skirt hidden near the back, and he pulled it out, frowning.

“This can't be Leorio's,” he said, out loud but softly.

The immediate assumption – that this had to belong to an ex-girlfriend – leapt to mind and was instantly pushed aside. He didn't want to think about Leorio and any possible ex-partners, and he couldn't dismiss the hypocrisy of that notion with the dark bruises that still decorated his neck. He considered the skirt for another moment before pulling it on, then went and stood in front of the mirror. The skirt rested comfortably at his waist, and the pleated chiffon floated down to just past his knees, ballooning around his legs when he walked. A thin strip of midriff showed between the top of the skirt and his binder. Smiling, he twirled in a tight circle, enjoying the way the fabric floated around him. He wished it was more acceptable for men to wear skirts; this was one of the few things he missed about being seen as a girl. He was so preoccupied with his reflection that he didn't notice the door opening.

“Kurapika, are you- Oh,” said Leorio, his cheeks turning pink as he stared at him.

“Don't you know how to knock?” snapped Kurapika, crossing his arms self-consciously over his chest.

“Sorry, I didn't think-”

“No, you didn't,” he said, grabbing the nearest jumper and pulling it on, “And just to be perfectly clear, this doesn't make me any less of a man.”

“Yeah- No- I mean, of course not,” stuttered Leorio, as Kurapika rummaged through the wardrobe quickly and pulled out a pair of tatty jogging bottoms with a drawstring waist, “It suits you, though. You look... very nice.”

“Don't make fun of me,” said Kurapika crossly, pulling off the skirt and tugging the jogging bottoms on, his back to Leorio. They looked awful but they stayed up, once he tied the strings tightly together.

“I'm not,” said Leorio, sounding offended, “I mean it.”

Kurapika stared at him suspiciously for a long moment before saying “Thank you,” so quietly he wasn't sure Leorio heard him.

“Anyway, let's go and get your things,” said Leorio, stepping out of the room, “Those clothes look awful.”

“They're _your_ clothes.”

“Exactly.”

They drove to Kurapika's house in silence, and Leorio didn't put up too much of a fight when Kurapika insisted he wait in the car. Inside, he filled a suitcase with clothes and toiletries, then carefully covered over the marks on his neck with make-up. Some of them were still just about visible, but only if you knew they were there. Satisfied, he changed into his own clothes, carefully folding Leorio's and adding them to the suitcase. He briefly double-checked he had everything he needed, then carried the suitcase outside. He had it in the boot before Leorio could even open his door to help.

“How does it look?” he said as he slid into the passenger seat, tilting his head and sweeping his hair back so Leorio could look at his neck.

“Flawless,” Leorio said, leaning in to peer closely at his skin, “If I didn't know better I'd think you weren't a dirty little- Ow!”

He broke off as Kurapika headbutted him in the face – his head was too close for him to use his hands effectively.

“You little savage,” Leorio complained, rubbing his cheek and returning to his side of the car.

“Stop making crass comments about my sex life,” Kurapika said, primly folding his hands in his lap, “It's none of your business.”

“It is when I'm supposed to _be_ your sex life,” grumbled Leorio, earning himself a jab to the side as he started the car.

“Don't be vulgar,” said Kurapika, “Do you really want your mother to be thinking about us fucking?”

“Don't bring my mother into this, you filthy little- Don't hit me when I'm driving!” Leorio shouted, as the car swerved into the wrong lane and then back again.

“Stop being so asinine,” he said, folding his arms crossly, “Then I won't need to hit you.”

“If I crash this car, we're both dying,” said Leorio, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

“I'll risk it.”

“Your priorities are seriously skewed,” he said, shaking his head.

Kurapika stared out of the window, refusing to answer.

“Pervert,” added Leorio, his hand shooting up to catch the first punch Kurapika threw, but he was unable to block the second, which winded him. He managed to keep the car straight, even as he was gasping for air, which was slightly impressive.

“If you're so worried about crashing, why do you keep antagonising me?” Kurapika huffed, leaning against his door.

“It's funny,” wheezed Leorio, “Why do you... care what I call you?”

Kurapika frowned, unable to come up with a good answer. Truthfully, he wouldn't care what most people thought about him, but Leorio was different. Leorio made him regret being so reckless and caring so little; he made him think about a whole different kind of sex. Leorio made him think about sex that could mean something. In a way, that was more dangerous that anything else.

“We're friends,” he said eventually, “I do care about your opinion, you know.”

“I didn't think you cared about what other people think of you,” said Leorio, pulling into his driveway and turning off the engine, but making no move to get out of the car.

“You aren't most people,” he said, staring at the house without really seeing it, “What you think of me... It matters.”

“I'm sorry,” said Leorio, “I didn't mean to upset you. I'm not being serious, I was just joking.”

“I know,” he said, softly.

“Well, if you're happy, it's fine with me,” Leorio said, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car.

Kurapika sat there for a moment, contemplating that statement. Was he happy? Was that even possible?

“Hey, are you coming?” Leorio shouted from the front door, breaking into his train of thought.

“Coming,” he called back, taking a deep breath before getting out of the car.

He started towards the boot, then spotted his suitcase sitting next to Leorio and frowned.

“You didn't need to do that,” he said, picking it up and following Leorio inside.

“It's fine, you were off in a world of your own anyway,” said Leorio, “You go and unpack, I need to kick the kids out.”

Kurapika lugged the suitcase upstairs, trying not to hit it against the walls, and into Leorio's bedroom. He smiled to himself when he saw Leorio had cleared out a pair of drawers for him, and half of the wardrobe. He hadn't brought quite enough clothes to fill the space left for him. After he'd unpacked his clothes, folding them neatly and efficiently, he carried his toiletries through to the bathroom. His cheap manual toothbrush looked especially shabby next to the top-of-the-range electric one Leorio used, but where he had gone through several brands before finding a shampoo he liked, Leorio had clearly just gone for whatever was cheapest, which happened to be a combination shampoo and shower gel. The modest selection of products he'd brought from his own home, which contained neatly ordered rows of what was probably too many different types of everything, more than doubled the number in Leorio's bathroom. Leorio did own a large bottle of cheap lotion, but given that he kept it next to his bed, Kurapika doubted it was used for its intended purpose.

“Jesus Christ, Kurapika, I don't even know what half of these _are_ ,” said Leorio, picking up a bottle of facial toner and squinting at it suspiciously.

“The secret to softer skin,” said Kurapika, plucking the bottle out of his hands and stowing it in the cupboard, “You should try it some time.”

“I wouldn't know where to start,” he said, staring around the room, “Why do you have two different types of shower gel?”

“One of them is an exfoliant,” said Kurapika, double-checking he hadn't forgotten anything.

“Why?”

“To exfoliate.”

“I'll just pretend I understand, shall I?” said Leorio, smiling, “All this and you still have that crappy little toothbrush.”

“I can clean my teeth just as well with that as with anything else,” he said, brushing past him and heading back into the bedroom.

“I've got a spare head for mine, you should try it,” said Leorio, following him and leaning against the door frame, his head bent slightly to the side so he could fit in the doorway.

“No, thanks,” he said, stowing the now-empty suitcase under the bed.

“Go on. You'll notice the difference, I promise.”

“And if I don't?” he said, standing up and putting his hands on his hips, a provocative grin on his face.

“I'll do whatever you tell me to do,” said Leorio, grinning, “But it can only be one thing. And don't be too cruel, it can't be something impossible.”

“I could just lie, you know.”

“But that would be boring.”

“So what do I have to do if I lose?” Kurapika said, tapping his top lip thoughtfully with his index finger.

“I'll think of something.”

“Okay, you're on.”

“Excellent. Help me tidy up the guest room, would you?” Leorio asked, stepping out into the corridor, “I can't believed they managed to mess it up so much in one night.”

“Have you changed the bedding?” asked Kurapika, following him across the hall.

“Obviously,” he said, pushing open the door and gesturing to the neatly-made bed, which was surrounded by toys and random items of clothing, “I don't think they got up to anything, but better safe than sorry. They were still asleep when I kicked them out.”

“You're a cruel father,” said Kurapika, wrinkling his nose as he picked up a pair of underpants and held them at arm's length.

“It's nearly noon,” said Leorio, gathering the Pokémon cards on the floor into a pile, “They'd sleep away the whole day if I let them.”

“They are teenagers,” he said, carefully clutching an armful of dirty clothes and stepping outside to deposit them in the laundry bin, “Don't you remember being a teenager? Or was it too long ago?”

“Shut up, you're barely younger than me,” Leorio said, tossing a yoyo at Kurapika's head and missing by a foot.

“Two years, Leorio.”

“That's hardly anything,” he said, shoving an armful of things into a drawer then moving to unplug the Wii.

“Well, if you took into account how old most people _think_ you are...”

“That's just rude.”

Kurapika laughed softly, leaning against the wall when he saw the floor was now clean.

“You're as bad as those damn kids,” Leorio grumbled, straightening out the covers on the bed and glancing around the room.

“Now you really sound like their father,” said Kurapika, smiling, “Or their grandfather.”

“Don't,” said Leorio, with a pained expression.

He laughed again, covering his mouth with one hand.

“It's endearing,” he said, a fond smile on his face, “I'm glad you care about them.”

“Well, someone has to.”

Downstairs, Killua and Gon had somehow managed to make breakfast into a competition.

“Clear up after yourselves, boys,” said Leorio, poking his head into the kitchen and frowning at them, “I don't want my mum to think I've taken in a horde of zoo animals.”

“Not a horde, just two,” said Gon, his mouth full.

“Hey, don't call me a zoo animal,” said Killua, flicking a grape at Gon.

“Gon, put that down right now or so help me, I will not be held responsible for my actions,” threatened Leorio, glaring at Gon, who gave him a sheepish look and then carefully lowered his handful of egg and wiped his hand on his shorts. Killua took the opportunity to stick his tongue out at Gon.

“You really haven't changed,” Kurapika said, smiling wistfully, “Well, you're a bit taller, I suppose.”

“You aren't,” said Killua, grinning cheekily, “Soon even Gon will be taller than you.”

“Probably,” he said, and Gon beamed proudly, “I'll have to start wearing heels.”

Leorio's cheeks reddened, and Kurapika laughed.

“I know exactly what you're picturing, pervert,” he said, rolling his eyes, “Dream on.”

“What's he picturing?” Gon asked, his eyes wide and innocent.

Killua gave them a long look and then whispered something in Gon's ear, and his eyes became even wider.

“That's disgusting,” he said, his tone awestruck.

“I don't even want to know what you said,” said Leorio, turning even redder, “But you'd better not be corrupting Gon.”

“You can talk, old man,” said Killua, scowling, “You and your perverted little-”

He cut himself off, shooting a glance at Kurapika, who was giving him a dangerous look.

“Fantasies,” he finished lamely, and Gon laughed.

“Well,” said Leorio, his face still red, “Anyway. How's your hand, Gon?”

“Much better!” he said, holding it out for Leorio to inspect.

Leorio peered closely at his hand, which was still slightly reddened but not blistered.

“Looks good,” he said, smiling, “Excellent. Now you can clear up this mess. And then you're going to vacuum the whole house.”

“What?!” yelled Gon, his face dropping.

“Go on, hurry up,” said Leorio, clapping his hands brusquely, “And Killua, you can do the dusting. Without breaking anything.”

“No way, old man,” said Killua, folding his arms.

“You ungrateful little brat,” said Leorio, poking Killua's shoulder.

“Killua,” said Kurapika meaningfully, pulling Leorio back.

“ _Fine_ ,” huffed Killua, stomping out of the kitchen.

“He's definitely going to break something,” said Leorio mournfully, “Out of spite.”

“He wouldn't dare,” said Kurapika, a fierce expression on his face.

Leorio stared at him contemplatively for a moment.

“You can be terrifying, you know,” he said, and Kurapika smiled.

The boys took a somewhat erratic but ultimately frighteningly efficient approach to cleaning, and the house was spotless within less than half an hour. Leorio and Kurapika took to sheltering in whatever room seemed safest at any point, trying to avoid the chaos as much as possible. Miraculously, they managed not to break anything; any time Killua looked a little too close to “accidentally” breaking something, Kurapika gave him a meaningful look and he thought better of it.

“Well, I never knew they were as good at cleaning up as they are at making a mess,” said Leorio, trying and failing not to look impressed.

Gon beamed proudly, and Killua scowled.

“All right,” continued Leorio, “If you can't go home, you can stay here, but I'm definitely kicking you out if you don't behave. Be nice to my mum. I've got some air beds in the attic, but you'll have to get them out and blow them up yourselves – _Later_ ,” he added hurriedly, as Gon started up the stairs, “Otherwise, just... be nice.” This comment seemed to be particularly aimed at Killua, who smiled angelically.

“We will!” they chorused, looking so sweet Kurapika almost believed them.

“Excellent,” said Leorio, “Now, I don't suppose you're ready for lunch yet-”

“I am!” interrupted Gon, and Kurapika laughed.

“Okay, then, you are,” Leorio said, smiling, “I'll make some lunch, then. Kurapika, have you eaten _anything_ today?”

“Oh. No, I forgot,” said Kurapika, his stomach rumbling as he realised how hungry he was.

“You're hopeless,” sighed Leorio, “Come on, you can help me.”

Kurapika ended up snacking more than helping, but eventually they got lunch together and gathered around the table to eat. Lunch was messy and noisy, mostly thanks to Gon and Killua, but Leorio didn't make them clear up after, even though Kurapika chided him for being too soft on them. They were almost done with the washing up when the doorbell rang.

“You get it,” said Kurapika, “I can finish up in here.”

“Thanks, babe,” said Leorio, absent-mindedly kissing the top of Kurapika's head.

Kurapika rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling. Leorio's mum greeted him loudly and enthusiastically, their exact words indistinct but their tones making it clear how excited they were, even though they'd last seen each other just a week ago. His smile turned sad as he thought about his own mother; he'd been too young to appreciate her properly when he lost her, and that was one of the things he regretted most.

“Kurapika!” she said, coming into the kitchen and pulling him into a hug, “It's so lovely to see you again!”

“Mrs Paladiknight,” he said, awkwardly returning the hug as best he could with one arm pinned to his side, “The pleasure is all mine.”

“Please, call me Sara,” she said, releasing him and looking down at the washing up he'd neglected to finish, “Can I help you with that?”

“Oh, no, it's fine,” said Kurapika, hurriedly picking up a plate, “I'm nearly done here, anyway.”

“Mum, please,” said Leorio, with a pained expression, “You're our guest, let Pika do that. I'll show you your room.”

Kurapika shot Leorio's retreating back a glare at the sound of the diminutive nickname, but decided to leave having a go at him until later. He finished the washing up, then retreated to the living room, curling up in his favourite armchair and picking up Leorio's psychology textbook where he left off.

“I can't believe you're still reading that,” Leorio say, as he came back into the living room, “You're such a nerd.”

“I can't believe you haven't read it,” said Kurapika, turning over a page, “It's actually quite interesting.”

“I'll never understand why you didn't go to university,” Leorio said, shaking his head, “What a waste.”

“You say that like I haven't had a job for the past three years, whilst you still haven't even qualified,” he said, his eyes still fixed on the page, “Besides, I don't think they offer any degrees in hunting down homicidal criminal gangs.”

“You could have done something else,” said Leorio, folding his arms on top of the back of his chair and resting his chin on them, “You could have done anything you wanted to. You got perfect grades in your A Levels and you weren't even trying.”

“They were easy,” he said, “I only did them because I had to be 18 to become a bodyguard, anyway.”

“You could have started university,” Leorio pointed out, “You were a year younger than everyone else, anyway, you must have had to wait a year.”

“No point,” he said, “Waste of money.”

“You're too brilliant to throw your life away, Kurapika,” he said, sounding pained.

“I'm not throwing it away. My ideals are just different to yours.”

“Well, mine don't involve _murder_ as a way to solve my problems.”

“Well, maybe if your friend had been murdered, you'd understand,” he snapped, twisting around in his chair and grabbing Leorio's collar, “I'm doing the same thing as you, you know.”

“No, you're not,” said Leorio softly, “I'm not trying to avenge him. I just don't want that sort of thing to happen again. Can you say the same thing?”

Kurapika was about to say something in response when he saw something moving in his peripheral vision. Without thinking, he leaned up and kissed Leorio, his teeth grazing his lips in his frustration. Angry – with Leorio and with himself – he bit down sharply, making Leorio hiss in pain.

“God, you're disgusting,” Killua said from the doorway, “Get a room.”

Kurapika released Leorio's collar to flip Killua off, sliding his other hand into Leorio's hair and softening the kiss. Killua made a loud farting noise and stomped off, presumably to wherever Gon was – which was probably outside.

“Sorry,” whispered Kurapika, breaking off the kiss, “I thought that was your mum. I didn't want her to think we were fighting.”

“It's fine,” said Leorio, pulling back and standing up, “I'm sorry. You're right, I don't understand what it's like for you, but I'm trying to help.”

“I know,” said Kurapika softly.

He stared up at Leorio for a long moment.

“You're bleeding,” he said, tapping his own lower lip.

“Whose fault is that?” grumbled Leorio, wiping away the blood.

“I did say I'm sorry,” he said, turning back around and picking up the textbook from where it had fallen.

Leorio snorted, but thankfully decided to let it go.

“I don't know when I'm going to find time to study this week,” he complained, throwing himself down on the sofa, “At least I have the week off, I guess.”

“You knew what you were getting into,” Kurapika pointed out, “I have absolutely no sympathy.”

Leorio blew a raspberry at him.

“You're nearly a doctor, Leorio, is that really your best comeback?” he said, sighing.

“Doctors aren't meant to be witty,” he said, flipping him off.

“I can test you, if you like,” Kurapika said, raising his own middle finger in response without once looking up from the page, “It'll be like sixth form all over again.”

“Ah, yes, you making me feel bad because you know my subjects better than I do, even though you're in the year below me and for some reason doing _five_ A Levels even though you don't give a shit about school,” said Leorio, laughing, “Good times.”

“Don't be bitter, Leorio,” admonished Kurapika, tutting, “I helped you get four As, didn't I?”

“I still think you should have sat my exams for me,” Leorio said, shaking his head, “Then they'd have been A*s.”

“And you'd have lost your place when they found out you cheated.”

“Don't be such a goody-two-shoes,” he said sulkily, “It would've been fine.”

“You got in, Leorio. Let it go.”

“Are you two arguing _again_?” Gon said, practically bouncing into the living room.

“They're always arguing,” Killua said, following at a more sedate pace, “They're like an old married couple. They've probably secretly been married for years.”

“Oh, no, you found us out,” said Kurapika, in a monotone, “Our deepest, darkest secret. We got married and didn't tell you.”

“Who's married?” Leorio's mum asked, walking into the room and pushing Leorio's legs off the sofa so she could sit down, “Are you two getting married?”

“Not yet, mum,” Leorio said, pushing himself upright, “Give us a few years.”

“Was that a proposal?” asked Kurapika, flipping over the page.

“Do you want it to be?” he asked, smirking.

“Sure. That's about as romantic as you get, anyway.”

“I'm hurt,” he said, pressing one hand to his heart, “I'm romantic as _fuck_.”

“Language!” said his mum, swatting him playfully, at the same time as Killua and Kurapika said “Watch your fucking language.”

She tried to hide the fact that she was laughing, but she wasn't very successful.

“You guys are all trying to compromise my freedom of speech,” said Leorio, “This is oppressive.”

“Oppressive as fuck, you mean?” said Kurapika, looking up and smirking.

“Please, honey, not in front of the children.”

“Not in front of the fucking children?” suggested Killua, and Leorio reached over to swat him around the head, “Hey! That's child abuse!”

“So are they... your children?” Leorio's mum asked hesitantly, making Gon laugh.

“No, he just attracts hopeless cases like flies,” said Kurapika, smiling fondly, “He doesn't have the heart to kick them out.”

“They live here?”

“Not technically,” he said, “But they're here more often than not. Especially Gon.”

“That's not true,” said Gon, pouting, “I live with my dad. But he's usually away, so I stay here when my aunt's busy. Leorio doesn't mind, do you?”

“Of course not,” said Leorio, rolling his eyes, “Like I'd make you stay in that house all alone.”

Gon beamed, his whole face lighting up. Leorio's mum still looked confused, but she seemed to decide it was easier just to accept this than to question it.

“So, you're Gon, then?” she asked, turning to the smaller boy, who smiled and nodded.

“Yep!” he said, “I'm 16. And this is Killua, he's my bo-”

“Best friend,” interrupted Killua, jabbing him in the ribs, “I'm only here for the free food.”

Leorio's mum laughed.

“Don't laugh, he's deadly serious,” Leorio said, “He'll eat me out of house and home.”

“That's teenage boys for you,” she said, “I remember what you were like.”

“I was an angel,” he said, offended.

“No, you weren't,” she said, laughing, “Oh, the stories I could tell.”

“No one wants to hear those,” Leorio said, at the same time as Killua and Gon perked up, asking “What stories?” in identical eager tones.

“I'll save them for the wedding,” she teased, “Why don't you two tell us how you met?”

“Actually, we met in sixth form,” Kurapika said, closing the textbook and sitting up straighter, “It's kind of a funny story.”

“In sixth form? Why didn't you tell me about him?” she said, turning to Leorio with a stern expression.

“We weren't dating then, Mum. I don't bring all my friends over to meet you,” he said defensively, “And we spent most of our time in the library.”

“Yes, the only time Leorio was ever in the library,” added Kurapika, “I was in the year below him, but he still needed my help to study, apparently.”

“Obviously he had an ulterior motive,” teased his mum.

More like the other way around, thought Kurapika, remembering how he'd made every excuse to spend time with Leorio, letting his own work slide – not that it affected his grades that much – in favour of helping him study.

“We didn't start dating until last year,” said Leorio, rolling his eyes.

“So how did that happen, then?”

Kurapika stared at Leorio for a long moment, before deciding he didn't trust him to make up an acceptable story.

“Well, we've both been pretty busy since high school, so we haven't seen each other that often,” he began, trying to stick to the truth as much as possible, “But I ended up working here. We actually bumped into each other by chance, at first.”

“That's what he says,” interjected Leorio, and he was right – Kurapika had actually managed to engineer that chance encounter, having looked up Leorio's timetable online.

“Anyway,” he continued, glaring at Leorio, “We exchanged numbers-”

“Which turned out to be a waste of time, since he never answers his phone-”

“And, well, the rest is history,” he said, smiling warmly at Leorio.

“So what was your first date like?” Gon asked, his eyes wide, “And why did you keep it a secret so long?”

“We didn't want it to be a big deal,” said Kurapika, shifting his gaze to Gon, “But I guess since I moved in, the cat's out of the bag.”

“He still won't give up his place, though.”

“Give it time,” he said, rolling his eyes, “Anyway, there wasn't really a first date. It was more of a gradual thing.”

“Like me and-” Gon broke off with a muffled yell as Killua punched him, and Leorio laughed.

“Gon still sleeps here more than I do, anyway,” said Kurapika, “I have to move around a lot for my work, and I often work nights.”

“What is it you do?” Leorio's mum asked.

“I'm a bodyguard.”

An expression of disbelief crossed her face, quickly replaced by polite interest.

“Oh,” she said, apparently lost for words “That's... unexpected.”

“Yes, I'm often underestimated,” he said, his expression carefully neutral.

“Is it dangerous?”

“You wouldn't believe how much blood he's gotten on my carpets,” Leorio said, before Kurapika could respond.

“That was once!” he protested, “I bled on your carpet once.”

“You bled a lot. I had no idea such a small person even contained that much blood.”

“You should, you're supposed to be a doctor.”

“Yeah, lucky for you.”

Leorio's mum looked like she wasn't sure whether to laugh or look concerned, and the final result was a somewhat constipated expression.

“It's fine,” Kurapika reassured her, “I don't get injured too often. I'm good at my job.”

She didn't look particularly reassured. Neither did Leorio.

“I've tried to convince him to do something safer, but it's hopeless,” he said, sighing.

“It's fine,” insisted Kurapika, “Please, let's not do this again.”

“Fine, fine,” said Leorio, throwing his hands up, “You win.”

“I always do,” said Kurapika smugly, and Killua laughed.

“No, you don't,” Leorio said, indignantly.

“Yes, he does,” said Gon.

“Not you too!” protested Leorio, “Have you all turned against me?”

“I'm sure he's right,” his mum said, smiling, “Sorry, Leorio.”

“My own mother!” he said, dramatically clutching his heart, “I can't take this. Pika, please!”

He stood up and melodramatically draped himself across Kurapika's lap, his legs draped over one arm.

“Oof, you're heavy,” he said, straightening his legs out so they weren't crushed beneath him, “Don't call me that, you big oaf.”

“You wound me,” Leorio said, pouting.

“Shut up,” said Kurapika, kissing him gently on the cheek.

“No, you shut up,” he said, tilting his head so they were kissing properly.

Killua made loud retching noises, and Leorio flipped him off, kissing Kurapika again for good measure.

“You're disgusting,” Killua said, dragging Gon out of the room.

“Hypocrite,” Leorio muttered, softly enough that only Kurapika could hear him.

Kurapika laughed softly, half-heartedly pushing Leorio.

“Come on, get off me,” he said, “My legs are going to sleep.”

“Good,” said Leorio, sticking his tongue out at him.

“I don't know how you put up with him for all those years,” he said, turning to look at Leorio's mum.

“Oh, he has his good points,” she said, smiling, “Somewhere.”

Leorio made an offended noise, and Kurapika laughed.

“Could you find the boys, mum?” he asked, in a fairly transparent attempt to change the subject, “I need to know if they're planning on staying.”

“Sure,” she said, standing up, “I'll leave you two alone.”

Kurapika gave Leorio another feeble shove as she walked out, and he just shifted into a more comfortable position.

“You're too bony,” he complained, leaning his head against Kurapika's shoulder.

“Oh, I'm sorry for not being a more comfortable seat,” he said flatly, resting his head against Leorio's.

“You should be. I'm worried about you, you know. You don't eat properly.”

“I eat just fine,” said Kurapika dismissively.

“You skipped breakfast today and you didn't even notice,” Leorio pointed out, “You should take better care of yourself.”

“I'm fine,” Kurapika insisted, “If you're really worried about me, you should stop crushing me and go make me some dinner.”

“Ugh,” he said, burying his face in Kurapika's neck, “Don't make me move. You're so warm.”

“You're too warm,” said Kurapika, feeling his face heat up as Leorio shifted in his lap. All this close contact was a little too overwhelming.

“Ugh,” repeated Leorio, dragging the sound out, “Fine. You're lucky I love you.”

Kurapika almost didn't notice him leave, those casual words making butterflies dance in his stomach and his heartbeat suddenly seem so loud it drowned everything else out. It was just a friendly remark, but it still made it feel like everything had been flipped upside down. Did Leorio mean it? Was it just a joke? Had he forgotten they no longer had an audience? His mind buzzed with stupid, pointless questions, questions he couldn't and wouldn't answer. It was just a throwaway remark. Meaningless. And yet... Kurapika couldn't help but cling to the hope it was true.

“Are you all right, dear?” said a voice, and it took him a moment to realise Leorio's mum was standing next to him. He hoped he hadn't been ignoring her for too long.

“Just thinking,” he said, with a small smile, blinking away the tears he hadn't noticed were gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Do you want to be alone?” she asked, and he shook his head quickly.

“No,” he said, rubbing his eyes with one hand, not certain how to articulate the idea that he shouldn't be left alone with his thoughts right now to someone who was little more than a stranger.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, pulling the footstool around to one side and perching on it, her long legs folded in front of her.

“I'd rather not.”

She nodded. He stared at his hands, examining the small scars and callouses that decorated them, tracing each pale line with a fingernail. He glanced up at her and quickly dropped his gaze again, afraid of what she might see in his eyes. Her expression of calm scrutiny was slightly marred by a small frown which creased the skin between her eyebrows.

“You make him very happy, you know,” she said eventually, and Kurapika looked up, unable to hide his shocked expression.

“I... what?” he said, staring at her for a long moment before returning to examining his hands.

“The way he looks at you,” she said, her voice warm and gentle, “You don't know how much he loves you.”

Kurapika wasn't sure what to say to that. Perhaps _You have it the wrong way around_ or _He doesn't love me the way I want him to_ or _I'm sure he looks at everyone like that_. A part of him didn't even want to consider the possibility that Leorio could love him too; being proven wrong would be too painful. Being right could be worse.

“You're harder to read,” she continued, her tone careful, and Kurapika felt his stomach lurch. He'd thought he was more obvious than that, but apparently he was too good at hiding his feelings, even now.

“I'm... afraid to lose him,” he said softly, the truest words he'd spoken to her.

“Just try not to let your fear push him away,” she said, standing up and patting his head with a smile, “I'd hate for him to lose you.”

She turned to leave, then looked back at him.

“Oh, by the way, he wants your help in the kitchen.”

Kurapika stood in the doorway for a moment before stepping into the kitchen, watching Leorio chop vegetables with a focused air.

“There you are,” Leorio said, turning around and holding the knife out to Kurapika, “Could you finish this for me?”

“You know,” he said, ignoring the knife and carefully looking Leorio in the eye, “You're my best friend.”

“I know,” said Leorio, looking slightly confused.

“I just wanted to make sure,” he said, finally taking the knife but otherwise staying completely still, “I know I don't say that sort of thing a lot, but I do care about you.”

“I know,” he said, smiling, “Now chop those goddamn vegetables.”

“Yes, sir,” said Kurapika, saluting with the knife and then stepping up to the chopping board, “What's for dinner, then?”

“I'm doing roast chicken,” he said, pulling a bag of potatoes out of the fridge, “Hopefully, anyway.”

“Well, that doesn't sound at all ominous,” said Kurapika, finishing off and moving the chopped vegetables into a neat pile with the knife, “Have you washed these?”

“Not yet,” said Leorio, dumping the potatoes in the sink and turning on the tap, “The colander is in that cupboard, just dump them in there.”

“Do you want me to cut up the potatoes for you?” he asked, as Leorio finished peeling the first one.

“Sure,” he said, passing him the potato.

Kurapika couldn't help but think Leorio didn't really need his help – he could have definitely gotten everything prepared and in the oven on time without it – but he found himself enjoying the quiet domesticity of it all. It stopped him dwelling on his thoughts, in any case. He hopped up on the side when they were done, leaning his head against the cupboard and closing his eyes. Leorio stood next to him, leaning against the counter so their heads were almost level.

“Your house feels so full,” said Kurapika at length, opening his eyes to glance over at Leorio, “I'd forgotten what it's like. Not living alone, I mean.”

“How long has it been?”

“Hmm... Two years since I shared that flat with Melody,” he said, drawing one arm across his stomach and using the wrist to support his other elbow, his hand resting lightly on his nose, “But that wasn't exactly the same. This feels more like a home.”

“How long has it been since...” Leorio trailed off, seeming uncertain about whether that was an appropriate question to ask.

“Some of the foster homes felt almost right, if that's what you're asking,” Kurapika said, smiling wryly, “But... Well, even this doesn't feel _right_.”

“Do you ever think about it?” he asked, resting one hand gently on Kurapika's knee, “Having a family, I mean. When it's all over.”

Kurapika hesitated, trying to pick the right line between honesty and existential despair.

“It's hard to think about it ever being over,” he said eventually, “It's taken up so much of my life, I'm not sure what could come next. But it would be... nice.”

“Well, if that doesn't work out, you could always come and live with me,” Leorio said, his tone only half-joking, “We could almost be like a family. We've even got the kids.”

Kurapika laughed softly.

“You know,” he said, smiling, “I wouldn't be surprised if I came back to find out you'd adopted them. Or collected half a dozen more of them.”

“I'm worried about them,” said Leorio, frowning, “Gon hardly ever sees his dad and he still thinks the world of him, and Killua... He won't tell me anything about his family, but I'm sure I've seen bruises on him. And he's terrified of his brother. I'd adopt them in a heartbeat if I could.”

“They're 16 now,” said Kurapika, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly, “They can leave if they want to. And you're giving them a place to stay.”

“I know. I just wish I could do more for them,” he said, rubbing his face with one hand, “They're good kids.”

Kurapika smiled, a little wistfully. Leorio had such a big heart, however grumpy he acted. Even if he could have him, he wouldn't deserve him.

The dining room table was slightly too small for five people, but they managed to squash themselves in. Gon and Killua constantly elbowed each other as they ate – on purpose more often than not – although everyone else was somewhat more civilised. Leorio's mum offered to help clear up afterwards, but was quickly shot down by all four of the boys. Gon somehow managed to get up into the attic before Leorio could even get the ladder out, and was back down with the air beds before he could start yelling, although he yelled at him anyway whilst he blew them up – using his mouth since Leorio had lost the pump. Kurapika wasn't sure which one of them was demonstrating greater lung capacity at that point. At one point, Killua stepped unhelpfully on the half-inflated air bed, making it look like an accident, and Leorio had to stop yelling to check Gon was still alive.

“Are they always like this?” Leorio's mum asked, her and Kurapika standing out of the way of the chaos in the living room and watching it unfold with a mixture of amusement and consternation.

“Sadly, yes,” he said, shaking his head, “They're all very... lively.”

“That's one way to put it,” she said, laughing.

Kurapika smiled fondly at them, not noticing the way she was studying his face, a slight frown creasing her eyebrows.

“Done!” said Gon, releasing the second air bed and leaping to his feet.

Killua immediately threw himself onto it, and Leorio made a strange yelping noise, his expression turning apoplectic with rage.

“Killua,” said Kurapika, gently but firmly, “Don't do that. You'll break the bed.”

Killua muttered something that might have been an apology, and got up considerably more carefully.

“Well, there's sleeping bags in the cupboard under the stairs,” said Leorio, regaining his composure, “Don't stay up too late.”

He disappeared upstairs, probably in a belated attempt to get some studying in before the weekend ended.

“Anyway,” said his mum, as soon as he had vanished, “Who wants to see Leorio's baby pictures? I have all the best ones on my phone, here.”

“Does Leorio know about this?” Kurapika asked, an expression of fiendish delight coming onto his face.

“I'm sure you'll tell him,” she said, her expression matching his.

“I'll never let him forget,” he promised.

Gon and Killua were delighted by the pictures, laughing particularly loudly at the ones of Leorio in the bath, and Kurapika was particularly amused by the fact that Leorio had clearly been shorter than him until he hit puberty. He almost wished he'd known him back then, just so he could have held it over him.

By the time Kurapika went upstairs, Leorio was already in bed, reading.

“Did you know your mum has over a hundred pictures of you as a child on her phone?” he asked, in lieu of a greeting.

“Oh, no,” groaned Leorio, lowering his book, “She didn't.”

“She did,” said Kurapika, emptying his pockets onto his bedside table then reaching up to remove his earring, “It was very enlightening.”

Leorio groaned wordlessly, burying his face in his hands.

“If it's any consolation, I'm sure I have some pictures from my childhood somewhere,” he added, pulling a set of pyjamas and a sweatshirt out of a drawer, “Although I doubt they can match yours.”

“I'll take what I can get,” said Leorio, lowering his hands, “I left a toothbrush head on the sink for you, by the way. Don't forget our bet.”

“How could I?” said Kurapika as he left the room, although it had actually slipped his mind.

He changed quickly and brushed his teeth, then returned to the bedroom.

“All right,” he said, sliding between the covers, “You win.”

“I didn't expect you to admit it so easily,” Leorio said, with an expression of pleasant surprise on his face.

“I wouldn't dream of lying,” Kurapika said, smiling, “What would the point be?”

“Winning,” he said, like it was obvious, “I would have lied.”

“Scoundrel.”

“Well, now I have to think up your punishment,” he said, sounding thoughtful, “I can't waste this.”

“Take your time,” said Kurapika, rolling over and flicking off his light, “But can you do it in the dark? I'm trying to sleep.”


	8. Chapter 8

Kurapika was woken up some time before his alarm by the crushing weight of Leorio on his back, one arm dangling over the edge of the bed and one leg hooked across him. He shifted, then froze, his face reddening, as he felt something unmistakable pressing into his back.

“Leorio,” he hissed, as the other man shifted, moaning softly in his sleep, “So help me god, if you start dry humping me now, I will castrate you.”

“Mm,” Leorio mumbled, burying his face in Kurapika's hair, “Sleeping.”

“You have five seconds to get off me,” he said, resisting the urge to elbow him in the stomach, “Or I won't be held responsible for my actions.”

Leorio grumbled something sleepily, but rolled over, releasing Kurapika. He reached for his phone, groaning when he saw it was just past four. Not late enough to be worth staying up, but close enough to his alarm that he might not fall asleep.

“I hate you,” he said, half-heartedly kicking Leorio in the shin.

“Love you, too,” Leorio mumbled, snuggling in close to him again.

Kurapika sighed, but the warmth made it easier to fall asleep again, although the butterflies in his stomach didn't. When his alarm did go off, he resented it more than he ever had before. Leorio had his arm draped over him again, and he complained incoherently when Kurapika slipped out. Rolling his eyes, he stumbled across the darkened room and pulled out some clothes. He thought about spitefully flicking the light on, but decided to let Leorio sleep whilst he showered. When he came back to collect his things from his bedside table, though, the light was on and Leorio was gone, and there was a pleasant smell wafting up the stairs.

“Are you cooking me breakfast?” he asked, slightly incredulously, as he stepped into the kitchen.

“Morning, babe,” said Leorio, bending over to kiss the top of his head as he came to stand next to him at the stove, peering into the frying pan, “I'm making pancakes.”

“And it isn't even pancake day,” Kurapika said, laughing.

He usually skipped breakfast, preferring to snack later in the day, but he couldn't say no to home-made pancakes.

“Don't wake up the kids or you won't be able to get any,” warned Leorio, expertly depositing the pancake onto a waiting plate and pushing it towards Kurapika, “There's fillings on the table.”

“Thank you,” said Kurapika, sitting down and sprinkling lemon juice and sugar on his pancake, then rolling it up neatly.

He'd almost finished his second pancake when Gon ran into the room, closely followed by Killua and yelling excitedly.

“Oh, no,” said Leorio, holding his hands up, “No pancakes for you, boys.”

Gon looked like he might cry. Killua looked ready to murder Leorio.

“All right, all right,” he said, “Maybe one, then.”

Kurapika laughed, depositing his plate in the dishwasher.

“You're far too soft on them, Leorio,” he tutted, “Well, I'll see you later.”

“Have a good day at work,” Leorio said, blowing him a kiss, as the boys made exaggerated retching motions.

Kurapika rolled his eyes, said goodbye to the boys, and left, a small smile on his face that he didn't even notice until Melody pointed it out later.

It was a long but boring day, and he didn't get home until late. Leorio had sent him a text around six asking when he'd be home and what he wanted for dinner. When he said he'd just pick up some take-out, he got a very vehement text in all caps describing exactly what would happen to him if he did that. He rolled his eyes, but Melody gave him a knowing look and he knew he had to be smiling again.

“I'm home,” he called as he opened the door, briefly considering calling Leorio _honey_ but deciding he would never in a million years actually say that, “Did you eat without me?”

“Of course,” said Leorio, coming into the hallway, “It's past eight, Kurapika.”

“That's not that late,” he said defensively, kicking off his shoes and shrugging off his jacket.

“The kids have gone home,” Leorio said, following Kurapika into the kitchen and pulling a plate covered in tinfoil out of the oven.

“I thought this was their home,” said Kurapika, retrieving some cutlery from the drawer and pouring himself a glass of water, “Did they stay for dinner?”

“I don't think they'd have left without it,” he said, depositing the plate in front of him, “Those boys will eat me out of house and home.”

“As if you don't eat at least as much as they do.”

Leorio made an offended noise, sitting in the chair opposite him and leaning it back on two legs.

“Don't watch me eat,” said Kurapika, scowling at him, “It's off-putting.”

Leorio stuck his tongue out at him, returning his chair to four legs with a loud thump.

“Don't get home so late,” he said, “Then you wouldn't have to eat alone.”

“You'll be eating those words when you're qualified,” said Kurapika, waving his fork emphatically, “My hours are nothing compared to what yours are going to be.”

“Oh, you don't have to remind me,” said Leorio, burying his face in his hands and sliding his fingers up through his hair, messing up the already dishevelled spikes, “I'm so excited.”

Kurapika laughed, covering his full mouth with one hand and managing not to spray food across the table.

“Is it too late for me to drop out and become a banker?” he continued, raising his head, “I hear they make a lot of money.”

“As if you've ever been able to convince anyone you're in it for the money,” said Kurapika, smiling.

“I had you convinced at one point. And you were so angry about it!”

“Well, you don't make for a very good first impression,” he said, laughing.

“As if you're any better!” he said, pointing at him emphatically, “You got my name wrong on purpose.”

“And you challenged me to a fistfight.”

Leorio laughed, as if he'd forgotten.

“We were idiots, weren't we?” he said, smiling.

“ _You_ were an idiot,” said Kurapika primly, “I've never been an idiot.”

“Liar,” said Leorio, “Only idiots bleed on other people's carpets.”

“Will you ever let that go?”

“You couldn't pay me to.”

“I thought we already established you aren't _that_ into money?” Kurapika said, smirking.

“Exactly,” he said, with a triumphant grin, “I cannot be bought!”

Kurapika laughed. He ate in silence for a moment before another thought crossed his mind.

“How does your mum feel about being abandoned so you can watch me eat?” he asked, finishing off his last forkful.

“She insisted, actually,” said Leorio, picking up the plate before Kurapika could and clearing it away, “She felt sorry for me after you abandoned me all day.”

“Ah, she's sick of you already.”

The noise Leorio made was inhuman, and it made Kurapika double over with laughter, gasping for air.

“What was that?” he finally managed, leaning on the table for support.

“Don't be cheeky,” said Leorio crossly, flicking him between the eyes.

“Ow,” said Kurapika, rubbing the spot even though it didn't actually hurt, “Why must you always resort to violence?”

“Says the bodyguard to the doctor,” he said, folding his arms smugly.

“You aren't a doctor yet,” Kurapika reminded him, brushing past him to get into the living room.

“I'm nearly there,” he said, following him.

Kurapika frowned when he saw Leorio's mum had taken his favourite armchair, but sat on the sofa without complaining. Leorio wrapped his arm around him and pulled him into an awkward half-lying position, his hand automatically flying to Leorio's thigh to balance him.

“Stop manhandling me,” he said, readjusting himself into a more comfortable position, his head cushioned against Leorio's chest. Leorio ignored him.

“What's this rubbish you're watching, mum?” he said, reaching for the remote.

“Don't you dare,” she said, beating him to it and hugging it protectively to her chest.

“Mum! This is my T.V.,” he said, pouting, “My house, my rules, isn't it?”

“If you make me miss _Strictly_ I'll- I'll-”

She broke off, struggling to come up with a threat.

“Ground you?” suggested Kurapika.

“You can't ground me, I'm 23,” grumbled Leorio, “And I don't want to watch _Strictly_.”

“You used to love _Strictly_ ,” she said, turning the volume up as the opening theme started to play.

“Did you really?” asked Kurapika, laughing.

“You can't prove anything.”

“Oh my god,” he said, “I can't believe I ever thought you were straight.”

“I can't believe _I_ ever thought I was straight,” said Leorio, his gaze fixed on the television, “In my defence, I was _mostly_ watching for the women. And their skimpy outfits.”

“How is that in your defence?” said Kurapika, making a mental note to ask him about that later – he thought Leorio really _was_ straight, “Pervert.”

“Shh, pay attention,” he said, waving his hand dismissively.

“Leorio, I'm not interested in skimpy outfits,” said Kurapika, getting up and grabbing a book at random from the nearest shelf, then settling back against his side.

“The men have them too, you know.”

“Still not interested,” he said, opening the book – a pathology textbook – and starting to read.

“Would you be interested if I was wearing one?”

Kurapika glanced up at the T.V., taking in the ridiculous amounts of glitter and spandex, then laughed. Sure, he might enjoy seeing Leorio in something that tight, but he wouldn't be able to take him at all seriously.

“You'd look like a tit,” he said, shaking his head, “I can't believe you seriously think that's sexy.”

“Well, okay, maybe it'd look silly on me,” he said, and Kurapika snorted, “You'd look amazing, though.”

“I look amazing in everything,” he said, casually turning a page.

“And you're so modest, too,” said Leorio, jostling him playfully, “Are you planning on working your way through all of my textbooks?”

“Someone ought to.”

“Nerd,” he said, shaking his head, “If you start reading my copy of _Gray's_ I'll know you've really lost it.”

“You just have the student edition, anyway,” said Kurapika, “That's practically easy reading. It has pretty pictures and everything.”

“Those are diagrams, and anyway, you can't learn anatomy without pictures. That's just ridiculous.”

“It was an interesting challenge.”

“Oh my god, you _nerd_ ,” said Leorio, sounding horrified, “You taught yourself anatomy?”

“Why wouldn't I?” he said, flipping over the page, “It's quite important in my line of work, you know. Although I was 10 at the time.”

“I don't believe you,” said Leorio, “Even you can't be that much of a nerd.”

“You can test me, if you like.”

“All right, carpal bones, then.”

“Easy,” he scoffed, “Scaphoid, lunate, triquetrum, pisiform. Trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate.”

“Well, anyone would know that,” Leorio grumbled, “Branches of the mandibular nerve, then.”

“Still want to test me, then?” said Kurapika, rolling his eyes, “Fine. Branch to medial pterygoid, meningeal branch, and then from the anterior-”

“All right, all right,” interrupted Leorio, “I get it, I get it, you're an insufferable nerd.”

Kurapika smiled smugly, shifting into a more comfortable position.

“Do you two ever stop arguing?” asked Leorio's mum, smiling fondly.

“Well, only after I win,” said Kurapika, “Which is only always.”

“You don't always win,” said Leorio.

“Name one time I didn't win.”

Leorio thought about it for a moment, then grinned triumphantly.

“I won the toothbrush thing,” he said.

“Okay, apart from that,” huffed Kurapika.

“That's one time! That's enough,” said Leorio, scowling, “I still need to think up your punishment for that.”

“Oh, I was hoping you would forget,” he said, sounding disappointed.

“I'll never forget. I just need time to think of something good.”

“I'm dreading this already.”

Kurapika began drifting off, his head comfortably pillowed against Leorio, long before _Strictly_ was over. The textbook started to slip through his fingers, and Leorio gently removed it, against some resistance, and put it carefully on the coffee table. He motioned at his mum to turn the volume down as Kurapika shifted, sighing softly, then settled down again, his face buried in Leorio's side. He made a small contented noise, something like a cat, as Leorio started gently stroking his hair. Leorio stopped stroking for a moment, then smiled and resumed as Kurapika made a quiet disgruntled noise. He was somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, too tired to pretend to be annoyed with the affection. For a while, too tired to even remember this was just a farce, and Leorio was just an actor, playing his part well enough to fool even him.

He must have fallen asleep properly at some point, because the next thing he felt was Leorio gently lowering him into the bed – or trying to, and accidentally bumping his head against the headboard.

“Shit! Sorry,” he said, patting the top of his head gently, “Did I wake you up?”

“Mm,” said Kurapika, rubbing his eyes with one hand, “It's fine. I need to change and-” he yawned “-everything.”

He lay there for a moment, fighting the urge to fall back asleep, before swinging his legs out of bed and standing up, swaying slightly.

“Are you sure?” said Leorio, holding a hand out to support him.

“Yes, I'm fine,” he said, nodding.

He looked around sleepily for his pyjamas, smiling gratefully when Leorio found them and pushed them into his hands. Cleaning his teeth woke him up a little, but his eyes were still drifting shut as he stumbled back into the bedroom.

“Long day, huh,” said Leorio, as he collapsed onto the bed.

“Mm,” said Kurapika, yawning, “Not really. I don't know why I'm-” he yawned again “-so tired.”

“Too much coffee, too little sleep is my guess,” he said, from somewhere across the room.

Kurapika was too tired to argue. He didn't catch whatever Leorio said next, already falling heavily into unconsciousness.

Kurapika was woken up before his alarm again, this time by Leorio mumbling something indistinctly.

“What?” he said sleepily, rolling over to face Leorio.

“The trees,” said Leorio, a frown on his face and his eyes shut. It took Kurapika a moment to realise he must be talking in his sleep.

“What about the trees?”

“They're... moving. They're getting away,” he said, reaching out with one hand and nearly poking Kurapika in the eye.

“Oh no,” said Kurapika, smiling as he moved out of range, “Don't let them escape.”

“Mm,” said Leorio, rolling onto his back, “They're gone.”

“Well, better luck next time,” he said, rolling over and grabbing his phone. Only five minutes until his alarm. He sighed, turning off the alarm, and swung his legs out of bed.

“Ah, Kurapika,” said Leorio, and he froze, “Don't do that.”

“Don't do what?” he said, twisting around to look at him, trying to ignore the excited lurch in his stomach at the thought Leorio was dreaming about him.

“Stop bleeding,” he said, his tone severe.

Kurapika laughed, throwing a pillow at him. It hit him squarely in the face.

“That was _one time_ , you ass,” he said, shaking his head and standing up, “And you can't even let it go in your _dreams_.”

“Ow,” said Leorio, blinking sleepily, “What was that for?”

“Did you know you talk in your sleep?” said Kurapika, rifling through his drawers.

“Oh. What did I say?”

Kurapika just smiled, gathering his clothes in his arms, and left the room.

“Wait!” Leorio called after him, “What did I say?”

Kurapika ignored him, flicking the shower on instead and stripping quickly. He stared at his reflection in the mirror for a moment, running his hands through his hair – had he washed it yesterday? It didn't feel too greasy, so he gathered it up into a messy bun, loose strands too short to stay up falling down the back of his neck and into his eyes. He was long overdue a haircut, really – he couldn't remember when his last one had been – and his hair just reached his shoulders now, his overgrown fringe too short to keep out of his eyes. Sighing, he contemplated his reflection for another long moment before hopping into the shower.

Leorio was still in bed when Kurapika returned, propped up against his pillows and looking at something on his phone.

“What did I say?” he said, lowering his phone.

“You didn't say much,” said Kurapika, putting his earring in, “You were mostly rambling about trees.”

“Hmm,” said Leorio, sounding sceptical, “I must have said some really awful things about trees, then.”

Kurapika laughed.

“Your hair looks nice like that, by the way,” added Leorio.

“Thanks,” said Kurapika, turning pink, “I need a haircut, really.”

“Maybe,” he said, looking at him thoughtfully, “Longer hair suits you, though.”

Kurapika felt his ears heat up, and momentarily wish his hair were covering them.

“Well, my fringe needs trimming, at least.”

“I could do that for you,” offered Leorio.

Kurapika gave him a suspicious look.

“I've done it before,” he added hurriedly, “I promise I won't ruin your hair.”

“Maybe later, then,” Kurapika said, heading for the door and hesitating before adding, “Thank you.”

He hadn't noticed he'd forgotten to take his hair down until Melody commented on it later. He blushed, reaching for the hairband, then stopped and decided to keep it up. It kept it out of his way (mostly), and, well, if Leorio thought it looked nice, that was only a bonus. Somehow, Melody seemed to know it had something to do with him, but she mercifully didn't say anything. She always knew when to keep her mouth shut – like later, when he had to leave to follow up a lead. And after that, when he came back with a bullet lodged against his collarbone, she didn't say anything. She just calmly helped him clean it and cover it with gauze, although her soft sighs spoke volumes. It hurt every time he moved his right arm, or breathed, but he was fine. He'd handled worse. It wasn't going to kill him – or at least, it wasn't going to kill him soon, which was the same thing in his mind. His torn and bloodstained shirt was a little more of a problem, but thankfully, no one commented on it, and he could mostly cover it with his jacket.

He barely noticed the pain by the time he returned home – this time, in time for dinner. A delicious smell was wafting through the house.

“I'm home,” he said as he came in, his right arm held carefully against his side, “Am I late for dinner?”

“Nearly,” shouted Leorio, “It'll be ready in a moment.”

“I'll be right there, then,” he said, starting up the stairs, “I just need to use the bathroom.”

In the bedroom, he exchanged his torn shirt and binder for clean ones, momentarily mourning the loss of the binder and quickly checking his wound hadn't started to bleed again. It was difficult to put his binder on through the pain, but he gritted his teeth and managed it. He buried the ruined clothes in the bathroom bin and returned downstairs.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he said, sliding into his seat.

“It's fine,” said Leorio, depositing a plate of pasta in front of him.

“Thank you,” said Kurapika, glad it was something he could eat one-handed; he didn't think he could handle the pain if he'd had to use his knife, although using the fork with his left hand was a little tricky at first.

“So, how was your day?” asked Leorio's mum, after the silence stretched on a little longer than was comfortable.

“It was fine,” said Kurapika, which, although he _did_ get shot, he didn't actually consider to be a lie, “Not all that much happened.”

Leorio shot him a look, but didn't say anything.

“What about you?” he continued, eager to draw attention away from himself, “Did you get up to much?”

“Oh, it was wonderful,” she said, and then launched into a long description of their entire day.

Kurapika didn't mean to ignore most of it, but the pain was starting to get to him and it was hard to focus. He tried to nod and smile at all the right points, and ate as quickly as he could using his non-dominant hand.

“Thank you, Leorio,” he said, getting up and putting his plate in the dishwasher, “I'm going to lie down now, if that's all right. I'm rather tired.”

“All right,” said Leorio, a look of concern on his face, “I'll see you in a bit.”

Kurapika went up to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, unbuttoning his shirt and pushing aside the strap of his binder. Blood was starting to spot through the gauze. Realistically, he knew he couldn't heal with the bullet still inside him, but removing it himself would be more painful and difficult than he could handle at the moment, and he refused to consider going to the hospital.

“I knew it,” said Leorio from the door, and Kurapika hurriedly pulled his shirt back across his chest, hastily buttoning it and crossing his arms.

“Knew what?”

“You're injured, aren't you?” he said, crossing the room to stand in front of him, his hands on his hips, “You weren't using your right arm at all at dinner and you've been wincing all evening.”

“I'm fine,” said Kurapika crossly, “Leave me alone.”

“Let me look at it.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Then let me take you to the hospital,” he said, an exasperated note coming into his voice.

“No way,” said Kurapika, shaking his head emphatically, “I'm fine.”

“You're clearly not fine,” said Leorio, sitting next to him on the bed, “Look, they won't ask you how it happened. If it's something illegal or whatever, they're not going to ask.”

“I know about patient confidentiality,” he said, rolling his eyes, “It's still too risky. I'm fine.”

“Stop saying you're fine, please,” said Leorio, taking hold of his arm and making him wince, “See? You're the opposite of fine. Just let me look at it, okay?”

Kurapika yanked his arm out of Leorio's hand, gritting his teeth, and shuffled away from him.

“No, I'm okay,” he said, “I can deal with this by myself.”

“I'm sure you can,” said Leorio softly, “But you don't have to. Let me help you. I promise I won't judge, or ask too many questions, or whatever it is you're worried about.”

Kurapika hesitated, pain lancing through his shoulder. It would be nice to have some help, and Leorio _was_ practically a doctor. Maybe he could trust him.

“All right, as long as you promise not to ask how it happened,” he said, waiting for a nod from Leorio before continuing, “I got shot.”

Leorio started to say something, then stopped himself, letting Kurapika continue.

“The bullet is still in here,” he said, tapping halfway along his collarbone, “I think it's stuck against the bone. It had slowed down a bit by the time it hit me, and I don't think it hit anything important, but it does hurt. Obviously, I guess.”

“Oh my god, Kurapika,” shouted Leorio, unable to stay silent any longer, “You have a bullet in you?!”

“Not so loud!” hushed Kurapika, “I don't want to upset your mum.”

“You have a bullet in you?” repeated Leorio, more quietly this time, “How the hell can you say _I'm fine_ with a fucking bullet inside you?”

“It's really not that bad.”

“ _You have a bullet in you_ ,” said Leorio, looking at him like he was an idiot, “There is no possible way to phrase that and not have it sound bad. There is _literally_ a bullet _inside you_. Right now. As we speak.”

“Okay,” said Kurapika, sighing, “Yes. There's a bullet in me. At least I'm not bleeding on your carpet.”

Leorio made a strangled noise, half pained and half amused.

“That's not funny,” he said.

“It was kind of funny,” said Kurapika, smiling.

“You have a warped sense of humour,” said Leorio, shaking his head, “And a fucking bullet in you.”

“Okay.”

“And you won't go to the hospital,” he continued, sounding exasperated, “So I guess now you want me to get the bullet out, do you? In my house. Which is definitely not sterile.”

“Not if you don't want to,” said Kurapika, folding his arms and wincing, “I can do it myself, you know. But I trust you.”

“Gee, thanks,” said Leorio, “That's going to make me feel really good when you get an infection and die.”

“Well, are you going to do it or not?” asked Kurapika crossly.

“Of course I'm going to do it,” said Leorio, standing up, “But just so you know, you can't sue me if you die and your tombstone will definitely read _I told you so_.”

“I'm fine with that,” he said, as Leorio guided him into the bathroom and sat him down on the edge of the bath, then went to the sink and washed his hands thoroughly.

“Great,” said Leorio, producing a well-stocked first aid kit, “Now take off your shirt.”

Kurapika hesitated, glancing at the door. Leorio sighed, then went over and locked it.

“Look, this is literally a life or death situation,” he said, returning to crouch next to him, “Would you really rather die than take your shirt off in front of me?”

“Fine,” said Kurapika, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, “But this is something else I don't want you to ask about.”

He glared at Leorio until he averted his eyes, returning to the first aid kit and pulling on a pair of latex gloves, before pulling off his binder, the movement somehow even more painful now. He dropped it to the floor and quickly gathered his shirt to his chest, leaving the gauze pad exposed.

“All right, I'm ready.”

Leorio stood up and bent over him, pulling off the gauze in one quick movement.

“Well, at least you cleaned it,” he said, examining the wound, “It's quite shallow, I can see the bullet. It might be better to leave it in. I mean, it'd be best to take you to a hospital-”

“I'm not going to the hospital, Leorio,” interrupted Kurapika, “Just take it out, would you?”

“If it gets infected, can I take you to hospital?” he said, wiping the skin around the wound carefully with an alcohol swab, making Kurapika wince.

“Sure, as long as there isn't a bullet in there.”

“There's no way you can pass this off as anything other than a bullet wound,” said Leorio, pulling out a pair of forceps and walking over to the sink.

“Plausible deniability,” said Kurapika, watching him pour alcohol over them and then hold them over a lighter, “Good to see you're at least trying to sterilise those.”

“If you're complaining, there's still time to go to the hospital,” said Leorio, leaning over him again and pausing.

“No, go ahead,” he said, shaking his head.

“This will definitely hurt,” said Leorio, “If you want painkillers, we have to go to the hospital.”

“I'm fine,” said Kurapika, gritting his teeth.

Leorio hesitated, then grabbed the hand towel from next to the sink.

“Here, bite on this,” he said, handing it to him, “It might help.”

Kurapika raised one eyebrow, but did as he said. Leorio bent over him again, and carefully poked the forceps into the bullet hole. It hurt like hell, but he managed to stay still whilst Leorio coaxed the bullet out of the thankfully shallow hole.

“There,” said Leorio eventually, dropping the bloody bullet into the sink, “That was incredibly stupid and you still might die. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” said Kurapika, dropping the towel and making to stand up.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” said Leorio, pushing him back down, “We're not done yet. What do you take me for?”

Kurapika rolled his eyes, but sat there patiently whilst Leorio cleaned out the wound and covered it again.

“This'll need changing every few hours,” he said, finally stepping back, “I'll let you do that yourself as long as you promise to tell me if you see any redness or swelling, any sign it might be infected, okay?”

“Fine,” said Kurapika, rolling his eyes, “Are you done yet?”

“I mean it,” he said, peeling off the gloves and discarding them, “And you have to let me check it once a day. I'm not saying I don't trust you, but you literally didn't tell me you had a bullet inside of you.”

“I suppose that's fair,” sighed Kurapika, tugging his binder back on and pulling on his shirt.

“I don't mind you bleeding on my carpets sometimes if the alternative is you literally dying,” Leorio said, washing his hands thoroughly and then tidying up the first aid kit.

“I don't know why you put up with me,” said Kurapika with a wry smile.

“Well, you're all right when you're not bleeding,” said Leorio, ruffling his hair and then leaving the bathroom.

Kurapika sat there for a moment, wiping away the tears that had started to gather in his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. He dug a couple of paracetamol out of the first aid kit and dry-swallowed them, although he doubted they were strong enough to really help, then stood up. Determined not to start crying, he went back into the bedroom, trying not to think about his throwaway comment. He didn't have a good answer; there was no reason Leorio should put up with him, and the fact he still did – the fact he so resolutely tried to help him even with no reason to do so – was enough to make him crumble. There was nothing he had to offer in return, just bloodstained carpets and missed calls, but Leorio was always there. No matter how much he pushed him away, he never left.

It looked like Leorio had returned downstairs, but Kurapika decided he couldn't face rejoining them and changed into his pyjamas, forgoing the sweatshirt since his secret was out anyway. It was early for bed, but he took a book from the shelf and curled up to read in bed anyway. This one wasn't a textbook (but only because Leorio didn't keep any in his bedroom), but it was related to medicine: a book about neurology framed for a lay audience, interesting but not challenging. He'd nearly finished it by the time Leorio came upstairs.

“You aren't cold any more, then,” he said, sliding into bed.

“Hmm?” said Kurapika, looking up, “Oh, the sweatshirt. Well, you know why I was wearing it now anyway, so I don't see much point.”

“Oh. Right,” he said, coughing awkwardly, “So, uh... You still don't want to talk about that?”

“There's nothing to say,” he said, closing the book and putting it on his bedside table, “I'm transgender. That's it. It has nothing to do with you. I hope you feel the same.”

“I don't think of you any differently, if that's what you mean,” said Leorio, looking him earnestly in the eye.

“Actually, on that note, I never knew you were bisexual,” said Kurapika, blinking and then looking down at his hands, “Or at least, I'm assuming that's what you meant when you said you weren't straight, anyway.”

“I don't make a habit of announcing my sexuality to everyone,” he said, “It has nothing to do with you, right?”

“I suppose not,” said Kurapika; it would have been hypocritical to say anything else.

Sighing softly, he flicked off his light and rolled onto his side. Hope and disappointment warred inside of him. The fact that Leorio could, theoretically, be attracted to him, and evidently wasn't, hurt more than it should have done. The sensible part of him knew the reasons he couldn't have Leorio went far beyond sexuality, but most of him wasn't that sensible. Most of him wasn't sensible enough to realise that wanting Leorio was ridiculous and unproductive and pointless. Falling in love could be so inconvenient sometimes.

“I'm sorry,” said Leorio eventually, quietly enough that Kurapika wasn't sure he was meant to hear it.

He kept his breathing quiet and even, pretending to be asleep.

“I should probably have told you,” he continued, not seeming to care that Kurapika wasn't listening – perhaps he was saying this more for himself, “The truth is, I didn't realise it myself until pretty recently. But, well, anyway. I'm glad you know now.”

He paused, then leaned over, resting one hand gently on Kurapika's shoulder.

“Hey, are you asleep?” he asked.

Kurapika didn't respond.

“Well, anyway,” Leorio said, “Goodnight.”

Kurapika whispered _Goodnight_ , so softly he couldn't even hear himself. His last thought before falling asleep was that for someone who hated liars, he seemed to lie to Leorio an awful lot.

The next morning, Kurapika was woken by his alarm for the first time since arriving at Leorio's. His shoulder was aching, the pain turning sharp and stabbing whenever his arm moved and pulsating gently with his breathing. He gritted his teeth as he got up and went into the bathroom. He showered and then cleaned the wound carefully and re-dressed it. It looked disgusting, but wasn't showing any signs of infection and had, for the most part, stopped bleeding. With any luck, it would heal cleanly, with only an ugly scar as a memento of his stupidity. By this point, he had enough of those that he didn't remember where most had come from.

Leorio was still asleep when he returned to the bedroom, so he moved quietly, and managed to leave the house without waking him. He ran into Melody on his way in, and she gave him an odd look.

“What?” he said, frowning.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, looking worried.

“I work here, remember?”

“You're hurt,” she said, “You should be resting.”

“I'm fine,” he said, although the pain was actually getting bad enough that he was having trouble focusing; he definitely needed some better painkillers.

“You were shot yesterday,” she said, blocking the door with her body, “You must be in pain. You'll only be a liability if you work like this.”

He hesitated. As much as he needed (or rather, wanted) to work, he couldn't in good conscience put the his employer and his co-workers in danger like this.

“All right,” he said eventually.

“Get better soon,” said Melody.

He almost laughed. She made it sound like he had a cold, something commonplace, instead of a bullet wound.

“Thank you,” he said, as he walked off.

He called his GP as he walked, and amazingly, managed to get an appointment for that morning. He might be averse to (most) doctors, but he wasn't prepared to seek painkillers through less legal means. He killed time before the appointment wandering aimlessly, attempting to take his mind off the pain and think up a plausible cover story. The GP didn't seem too convinced when he told her he'd fallen on a fence – although perhaps she was just suspicious about the circumstances – and frowned when he refused to remove his shirt, although he did open it enough to lift the dressing and show her the wound, and he thought he saw a flicker of understanding when she noticed his binder. She was reluctant to let him go without letting her examine the wound, but finally released him with a prescription and a warning to be more careful. He only cared about one of them.

He arrived home in a somewhat better mood – partially, no doubt, because of the painkillers – to an apparently empty house. It was nearly noon, so he assumed Leorio had taken his mum out to lunch, or whatever else it was they did during the day. He wasn't sure what adult men did with their parents; his experience more or less ended at age 12, and he couldn't picture them going around a zoo or a museum. _Leorio would probably prefer a strip club_ , he mused as he climbed the stairs and pushed open the bedroom door. Lost in thought, he didn't notice the quiet noises and frantic movements coming from the bed until he was a few steps into the room.

“Leorio!” he gasped, averting his eyes, his face turning bright red, “I'm- what-”

He spluttered, torn between apology and rage, thankful Leorio was facing away from him. He didn't think he could stand having that particular image burned onto his brain.

“Kurapika, what are you doing home?” Leorio asked, his face red and his junk mercifully covered, although he didn't look nearly embarrassed enough in Kurapika's opinion as he stepped across the room towards him.

“Please wash your hands,” Kurapika said, taking a step backwards as Leorio approached him, “I was sent home. Well, more or less. I did get shot, you know.”

“Oh yeah,” said Leorio, standing in front of him with his hands held up awkwardly.

“Anyway, could you please wash your bedding?” said Kurapika, taking another backwards step, “And perhaps refrain from doing _that_ whilst I'm sharing your bed?”

“Um, sure,” said Leorio, “Yeah.”

“Where is your mum, anyway?” asked Kurapika, stepping completely out of the bedroom.

“She went out to meet a friend,” he said, going towards the bathroom, “I did think I was alone, you know.”

“That isn't comforting,” said Kurapika over his shoulder as he made his way down the stairs.

Kurapika retreated to the living room and curled up with a pathology textbook in the armchair, trying not to think about what he'd just interrupted. He mostly succeeded, although idle fantasies about how else it could have gone kept springing to mind. It was hard to focus on the page with thoughts of Leorio swimming through his mind. Eventually he sighed and stood up, dropping the book on the chair, then left the house.

He wandered aimlessly for a while, trying to push Leorio out of his mind. He'd forgotten to bring a coat, and the weather was starting to turn chilly, but when he ducked inside a coffee shop he realised he'd forgotten his wallet as well. Although he didn't want to face Leorio again so soon, he didn't have anywhere else to go – and he was beginning to get hungry – so he returned home, somewhat embarrassed.

“Hey, you're back,” Leorio called from the living room as Kurapika let the door swing shut behind him, “You wouldn't believe what I found!”

“What did you find?” asked Kurapika, as he made his way through to the kitchen.

“Oh, it's you,” said Leorio, following him in and leaning against the counter, “I thought you were my mum.”

“Well, that's not something I wanted to hear from you,” he said, putting a couple of slices of bread on a plate and then pouring himself a glass of water.

“You know what I mean,” said Leorio, watching him sit down, “Are you really having bread and water for lunch? You haven't even put anything on the bread, how can you live like this?”

Kurapika ignored the question, which was less of a question and more of a judgement of his life choices in any case.

“So what did you find?” he said, tearing off a strip of bread and chewing it delicately.

“Oh, that,” Leorio said, reaching into his pocket, “You left your wallet behind. You know, when you stormed out or whatever that was.”

“I didn't storm out, I went for a walk,” he said, frowning, “Did you look through my wallet?”

“I was curious,” said Leorio defensively, as he flipped it open, “Anyway, who's the hot babe?”

He pointed to the picture prominently displayed in the clear plastic window, and Kurapika frowned again. That wasn't its usual place.

“That's my mother,” he said, holding his hand out, “My dead mother. And you shouldn't go through peoples' wallets.”

“Sorry,” said Leorio, flushing and dropping the wallet into his hand.

“And don't rearrange the contents, either,” said Kurapika, tucking the picture back behind the miscellaneous collection of loyalty cards cluttering the pocket, “Don't you know how to ask nicely?”

“Sorry,” said Leorio again, looking ashamed, “Could you show me the pictures, then? I didn't actually mean to see that one, it just fell out.”

“Whilst you were being nosy,” said Kurapika, rolling his eyes, but he pulled the small collection of pictures he had stashed in there anyway.

“So that's your mum, is it?” said Leorio, peering closely at the tiny picture, “She looks like you.”

“I know,” said Kurapika softly; it was hard to forget that, and it got harder as he got older, the face staring back at him from the mirror looking more and more like hers.

“Is this your dad, then?” he asked, flipping to the next picture, “He looks nice.”

“He was,” said Kurapika, smiling sadly.

“And this?”

“That's Pairo,” he said, his eyes filling with tears as he looked at the little picture of the small smiling boy, “He was my friend. My best friend.”

“I'm sorry,” said Leorio, a little awkwardly, “I didn't mean to upset you.”

“It's fine,” said Kurapika, blinking away the tears, “Go on.”

“Who's this?” he asked, flipping over to the next image, “She's cute.”

“That's me, you dolt,” said Kurapika, laughing.

“What? Really?” Leorio said, looking shocked.

“I was... about 8, I think,” he said, peering closely at the photo, which showed a small child with two waist-length plaits and a bright blue dress, “I cut my hair short not long after this – by myself, in the bathroom, and I thought my parents would be so angry but my mum just laughed at me-” he broke off, laughing himself, then continued “- and she fixed it for me, look,” he smiled, showing Leorio the next picture, Kurapika smiling proudly with his mother's arms wrapped around him, “I kept changing how I dressed, though. It was hard to settle on a gender.”

“When did you? Settle, I mean,” said Leorio.

“Let's see... I think I was about 14,” said Kurapika, frowning thoughtfully, “To be honest, I still don't really see why you're supposed to just choose one or the other, but I guess that was when I decided male fit me better.”

“Why did you decide to choose?” asked Leorio, “If you felt more like both, or neither, or whatever, why not just stick with that?”

“Well, I suppose I do still think of myself that way,” he said, hesitating before continuing, “But it's easier just to pick one. Since most people tend to think of gender as a binary.”

“Ah, yeah,” said Leorio, frowning, “Man, gender is more confusing than I thought.”

Kurapika laughed, returning the photos to his wallet.

“You're going to be a doctor soon and you don't know anything about gender,” he teased, shaking his head, “I weep for the NHS.”

“Well, I think it was mentioned in the repro course, but I guess it wasn't taught very well. I'll have to file a complaint.”

“I shouldn't be surprised, most qualified doctors don't seem to understand it either,” said Kurapika, sighing, “They get _very_ confused about what pronouns to use.”

“What? Can't they just ask?”

“Apparently not,” he said, sounding amused, “Anyway, I hope that was educational.”

“I think it was.”

Kurapika laughed.

“So, anyway, how's your shoulder?” Leorio asked.

“The same,” replied Kurapika, his left hand automatically rising to touch it, “I got some stronger painkillers from the GP this morning. Although the dressing probably needs changing now.”

“Do you want me to-”

“No, no, I can do it,” interrupted Kurapika, waving a hand breezily.

He went to throw away the rest of his bread, only to have Leorio stop him with a scandalised expression. Sighing, he gave it to Leorio, who ate it in one bite, and retreated upstairs to the bathroom. He cleaned his wound and re-dressed it, pleased to see it was still showing no signs of infection, then went back downstairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that's everything i have so far and honestly i'm not likely to finish it for various reasons. sorry the notes are so sparse & so on and also sorry if the chapter breaks don't make sense and generally it's very rough and unedited after the first chapter so... in general sorry for this whole mess. i might come back & edit it & it's even possible i could finish it but that doesn't look likely as of right now


End file.
